Saturday, October 31, 2009

oh and you

if you wanna think i'm sot

i dont really care anymore

think whatever you want

if you're as thickskinned as to think im interested in you

seriously

think

whatever

you

want

and

whatever

you

want

i can't be bothered making explanations for myself anymore

theres no point in making any when nobody wants to listen

might as well save my efforts for myself

doing more meaningful stuff

for

myself

11:06 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

i'm gonna start living for myself and only myself now i don't care

if you think my existence is so that you can have someone to slave away for you, dream on.

i'm gonna help only as and when i feel like it

i don't really care, NEVER REALLY CARED, whether whatever i did angers you or not

it never mattered to me, trust me on that

i helped when you asked only because i thought i should be nice

but obviously you dont deserve any of this niceness

neither do i deserve any of this shit

and hence

so as to deny myself from this rubbish that you heap unto me and to deny you of this niceness from me that i've given to you the many many years, i'll stop being nice, you shall stop being nasty whether or not you want to, from now on you and i shall not meddle w each other's lives.

i'm sure my life will improve a hell lot

i don't care even if you go down the pits

because frankly it aint any of my business

much less do i care.

10:56 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Friday, October 30, 2009

mr tan fu en got stopped by mrs look today while on our way out of school from visiting the juniors from suona for not wearing rv school pants

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

{EDIT\}

today is a weird day.

amy said she drew a chicken with 4 legs.

what's going on!?

:00

8:48 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

life is a complicated thing.

maybe it is much better living in a facade hiding in my shell residing in my own little world like before.

relationships.

friendships, bgr, and the whatever.

for peace and harmony, in order not to lose friends, do we really have to conform to everyone else?

disguise and deception.

it's omnipresent in our lives.

it will never ever leave completely.

so long as you're alive, disguise and deception will follow you all around.

it'll stay with you, until you die.

serious.

it never existed when you were a mere newborn, no.

when you were an ignorant newborn, all you had to do was eat shit sleep.

and then when you start learning things, developing a memory and so forth, your mummy and daddy, your grandmama and your grandpapa, everyone, will teach you things.

from ABCs and 123s to dealing and relating with people.

has it ever occurred to you that at the same time, while they may really be trying to teach you skills to handle relationships and interacting with various people, they may be manipulating your personality such that it benefits them?

in the sense that you become almost obliging to them.

in the sense that when it comes to them, you don't use your brains at all to judge if they've a motive for getting you to do anything.

right okay maybe thats extreme.

but yeah well, then you get to kindergarten. elementary school. primary school.

you witness people arguing. you join in arguments.

then the adults tell you what you should do and what you ought not to do.

and then you learn.

some may continue with their ways that the adults disapprove of; you might be one of them.

then you see these people get punished; you may be one of those punished ones.

you get scared, you conform to the adults' ideals.

but is it really yourself?

no.

you pretend to be the good kid everyone wants you to be.

you proceed to secondary school.

you learn further that the world aint as perfect or as lovely as you once thought it was.

you learn about bitches sluts and bastards.

you begin to understand what biasness is.

you begin to learn about things you thought only appeared among the villains in fairytales.

and bad dreams.

and then you learn that in order for things for you to stay peaceful, you have to put on a mask.

have a high level of tolerance.

basically, to summarise everything, the older you grow, the uglier the world appears to you, and the more important disguise and deception becomes.

goodness whats going on with everything.

6:39 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

obviously they've never thought of what i wanna do

instead all they thought of was what they want me to do

tmd

9:36 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Monday, October 26, 2009

雨下的時候

別低下頭

要等待奇跡降落

4:17 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A|X belt boy WOOTS!~

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

but i totally didnt get his number cuz i didnt get to talk to him.

at all.

oh.

my eyecandy has more people eyecandy-ing him than huiqi's eyecandy does.

WOOHOO!!~

A|X belt boy lalala~

8:24 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

SHF CIP was (Y)

woots!~

there was this uber friendly cameraman ahhaha.

then.. yeah i didnt really talk to anyone else from the other school

and cca

ahhaha

anti-social (x

8:17 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Friday, October 23, 2009

oh no.

haha.

i just saw something.

started laughing.

and choked on an egg.

nearly died laughing, literally.

right this might just be easier than i thought. (x

thekairosqueens are gonna be so happy when they hear this.

or maybe they won't care.

lol.

11:27 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

life sucks.

so yeah i know and i've realised since uber long ago i have mega nice friends.

but at the same time i've been trusting the wrong people.

what is this man.

i'm throwing in the towel, really.

it's super tiring.

i don't care that i'm supposed to be working freaking hard for it.

it takes 2 hands to clap.

you can't expect me to attempt thrice and still get nothing besides extreme weirdness and awkwardness.

whatever you call them.

besides the chances are slim.

and all it is is just..

well yeah.

nothing big right?

i guess.

yup.

so.

i should just let things go.

fk.

i hate this.

can i not?

cuz i don't want to.

neither can i do it.

T.T

10:05 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

life sucks.

so yeah i know and i've realised since uber long ago i have mega nice friends.

but at the same time i've been trusting the wrong people.

what is this man.

i'm throwing in the towel, really.

it's super tiring.

10:05 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

okay obviously he's either a) retarded b) really can't start convos c) can't be bothered couldn't care less or d) just aint interested in talking.

that much we're clear i guess?

haha.

GOODNESS THIS IS WEIRD.

TTM.

and uber awkward.

nice one yeah.

i feel as though i just placed my palm on a hot kettle.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*whams head against wall* x999999999999999999999999999999999999

T.T

goodnight.

i shall seek solace within (or is it among? WHATEVER.) the comfort of my bed blanket bolster and pillow.

12:00 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

why is it that people are willing to sit next to strangers only when there's a (physical) barrier, whether big or small, in between them?

why is it that when this barrier doesn't exist they won't sit next to each other, unless they're left choiceless?

why is it that they're willing to sit next to strangers even when the barrier is so small it might as well not be there and not sit next to each other when that tiny little barrier doesn't exist?

why?

so weird.

so it's psychological, okay.

but.. it's so small.

it's negligible.

why is it so compulsory to us?

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhyWHY?

9:11 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

i tried.

i failed.

so i tried again.

and got into deeper shit.

hence i attempted something else.

and so far after that tiny little victory i got i'm like getting nothing.

UGH.

so i'm trying again.

what i did before i tried this new stuff.

forgetting.

and no it just doesn't seem to be working.

i really put in a lot of effort, whether any of you believe me or not.

nothing seems to be working.

i really can't think of anything else anymore.

i'd smack him if i could - obviously i can't.

it's getting beyond tiring.

it's exhausting my mind my energy and whatever i could have put to better use elsewhere.

tmd.

i don't really think i can be blamed for this pile of poop anymore can i.

i really tried everything i could think of.

boo.

11:06 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

look at this omg look at this LOOK AT THIS:

「單蠢」指數 80%。你是一個天生粗神經的人，當好友想給你暗示而掐你的時候，你還會傻傻的在眾人面前問她為什麼掐你，弄得好友尷尬不已，實在「單蠢」得令人髮指。

so not true right. i'm not dumb puh-leease? goodness.

7:31 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

i know i'm not supposed to be but

WOOTS I'M UBER HAPPY NOW TEEHEEHEEHEEHEE (x

right i KNOW i'm not supposed to be cuz they aren't very good.

BUT STILL~

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

oops.

6:17 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Monday, October 19, 2009

it's been super long since i last went through anything that really allowed me to experience deep satisfaction from within myself despite ultimate exhaustion

and..

i'm actually craving for them now.

both the extreme exhaustion and satisfaction.

appears crazy, i know.

but that's really how i wanna feel now.

maybe because that's one of the few times i really know how to treasure literally every second i have?

how i can feel that way..

let's see..

any performances i guess.

it's like, you spend a hell of your time preparing for it, whining grumbling getting scolded getting less sleep than you'd have liked for blablabla

but when you finally present your stuff to the audience

you hear claps and all your whatnot

it's all worth it isnt it

like, you'll get this sense of satisfaction

the kind that you actually enjoy

the kind that actually has you wanting more

desiring for more

craving for more

i'm not even talking about small performances in school

nah that aint enough

i meant like how we used to perform in concert halls and etc

public performances

i know i'm not good

i know my standards arent up there

but still

KAEWHATAMITALKINGABOUTISHALLSTOPHEREBUHBYE

2:33 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

tomorrow.
results.
i'm having a panic attack.
goodness.

12:38 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

(a) Discuss the relevance of disguise and deception in your society.

(b) Consider the value of disguise and deception in today's society.

i'll do this another day.

darn beat.

12:28 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

i realise i'm a pretty easily satisfied person

if not for my constant paranoia about everything

i think i'd be always saying i love my life

11:42 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

noella says i should love my friends

i do okay

so i shall sing everyone a song

ahemahem

i love you

you love me

we're a great big family

with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you

*MUAH*

wont you say you love me too

:D:D

ANOTHERONEANOTHERONE! :D

MAU&QIAN are dinosaurs from our imagination
And when they're tall
they're what we call a dinosaur sensation

MAU&QIAN's friends are big and small
they come from lots of places
after school they meet to play
and sing with happy faces

MAU&QIAN show us lots of things
Like how to play pretend
ABC's, and 123's
And how to be a friend

MAU&QIAN comes to play with us
Whenever we may need them
MAU&QIAN can be your friends too
If you just make-believe them!

10:17 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

i'd very much like to thank the residents from above (a.k.a. upup there)

for deciding to grant me my no. ? opportunity to, uh, yeah

and to realise how blessed i am with such great friends, whether or not they could be conveniently reached during the time when i needed them most, at what was an i-thought-to-be-torturous-yet-turned-out-to-be-an-extremely-lame-and-weird-ttm experience (or whatever you call it)

and hence, a big shoutout to all - I REALLY REALLY LOVE ALL OF YOU! (:

right it might be exaggerated but yeah well hey i needed all that companionship and support

far more than last year

teehee

and i'm sure i'm a very nice friend to huiqi too (:

for acceding to her request(s).

but well, she's empress/princess dowager

mwahaha

amy ahma!

IM/text me alright!

though..

it was weird.

ttm.

{EDIT\}

right.

i am officially in for it.

i am so dead.

woots.

get me a nice big comfy coffin to lie in yeah.

and i like blankets and bolsters.

and nice pillows.

make sure they're comfy.

dead bodies need to feel comfortable too.

9:54 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

y'know somebody's gotta go up there like upup there and tell god or whoever's residing upup there to stop playing jokes on people like me because they may be funny to god or whoever's upup there but they definitely aint the least bit funny to me yeah?

i dont know whats stopping me from taking that first irreversible step forward.

because it's irreversible?

because i don't know if i'll ruin things?

but it's not like i'm getting anywhere staying constant here isnt it?

so maybe i'm not giving myself any chance but..

urgh.

maybe i'm the way i am now because of whatever happened before.

in the past.

no i'm not blaming anyone.

the past provides us with lessons to learn so that we do not commit the same mistakes we did before.

but..

at the same time it hinders us from going after what we want because of the fear that is born from failures in the past.

we mature only when we learn from past failures and walk out from them?

possibly.

but has anyone ever succeeded in doing that?

maybe, but how many have really been able to do so?

does happiness from within ourselves occur only when we overcome our fears?

do we only stop failing when we overcome our fears?

i dont think so you know.

failures are everywhere aint that so?

isnt there supposed to be a lifetime of lessons for us to learn?

so when will we really learn to be fearless?

when will we really have the guts to do anything we want to?

when will we really be able to go after everything we want, without restrictions from within ourselves?

people are always saying we're our biggest enemy.

the one we really have to beat is ourselves.

we're our greatest fears.

i don't totally agree with it.

our biggest enemy is our past failures.

the one we have to beat is any fear resulting from past failures.

our past failures are our greatest fears.

isnt that so?

though..

i suppose we ourselves are our greatest fears if you regard fear from past failures as part of ourselves.

顯示歡迎意義的，唯有快樂的容貌。

oops.

5:22 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

善男信女

蕭敬騰

不远处有一片土

站了一棵枯的树

仔细看那树枝的弧度

像在哭

枯树前杂沓脚步

收集爱情的孤独

为什麼眼前荒芜

是天下有情人的归属

那片山谷入口处

清楚刻著伤心人的墓

那片浓雾隔绝了

其实可以忘了爱的醒悟

别哭

那片乐土是不是

至少能让眼泪都停住

祝福什么都不再记住

祝福下一次总会幸福

祝福爱情的信徒

那善男信女别太辛苦

枯树前杂沓脚步

刻著心碎的控诉

读完别人的感触

却又义无反顾的投入

那片山谷入口处

清楚刻著伤心人的墓

那片浓雾隔绝了

其实可以忘了爱的醒悟

别哭

那片乐土是不是

至少能让眼泪都停住

祝福什么都不再记住

祝福下一次总会幸福

祝福爱情的信徒

那善男信女都别再继续受苦

谁的衣服还穿著

只为遮掩苍白的皮肤

谁的脚步有几个真

的可以远离爱远离糊涂

别哭

谁的信物从此入土

祝福什么都不再记住

祝福很快会找到幸福

祝福爱情的信徒

那善男信女不再辛苦

9:32 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Friday, October 16, 2009

huiqi's the empress dowager.

ahhahahahahaha

the empress dowager taught me the usage of disguise and deception today.

she lives in the land of pure evil.

tsk.

good old me aint gonna learn it (x

9:04 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

i really do hope i'm able to hold my tears back tomorrow

生氣只是一時的心情，

如果能在睡覺前擺脫，

表示你明天將有一個好運的日子。

maybe it's beyond late, but at least i realise now;

love at first sight- it might just exist.

11:02 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

不知不覺中

眼淚慢慢地流下

不過一陣子卻又停了

短暫無聲的哭泣

究竟是為了什麼

自己也不瞭解

只知道現在除了累

什麽也感受不到

光明和愉快，是兩件最珍貴的東西。

9:07 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

loneliness i think is a pretty interesting subject

it can occur at different levels;

- isolation (from the community) by the individual himself

- alienation by society

- (inner) isolation of oneself

etcetc

isolation can caused by both the individual and the society

not because the individual has no idea what the society expects of himself/herself

more because the individual finds nothing wrong w himself and thinks all fault lies with others

self-reflection - how many of us actually really does that

why do people blame others for everything that goes wrong for themselves

i realise it's not good for myself to not be around friends

i realise when i'm alone i start thinking a lot

a lot like a lot a lot

a bit stupid

whatever i think about, i end up wanting to talk about, but i don't develop my ideas far enough

either that or i forget whatever developments i've made with whatever i've thought about

and then a lot of things when i talk about them appear underdeveloped

and then i confuse myself

GAH.

愉快的心情有如良藥一樣

有益于身體。

7:30 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

people normally do things with a goal in mind don't they
maybe they'll achieve their initial aspiration (whatever you call it) and aim for something even better, whether to themselves or not
but often you'll find that people divert from their original motive (whatever you call it luh) and start doing things because of various reasons
so it may be because they're craving for better innate satisfaction
maybe they realise they want something else
however, when their goals start diverting, their way of doing things change, may be for the better or for the worse, but..
isn't it more appropriate to keep your original desire/goal/aspiration/aim/target/WHATEVER in mind, achieve that, before moving on to other things?
i don't know. opinions differ.
yeah as usual i forgot what it was i wanted to talk about.
annoying.
gimme me time to recall yeah.

微笑使煩惱的人得到解脫，

微笑使頹唐的人得到鼓勵，

微笑使疲勞的人得到安適，

微笑使悲傷的人得到安慰。

7:18 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

i'm finally beginning to believe that all good things will come to an end one day.

one day when everyone least expects things to.

catching everyone by surprise.

but well.. that's how things will stay longer in our memory right?

no matter how much we don't want things to end, it's a must for them to, right?

these days i've been dealing with so many sudden endings..

so many sudden changes..

(and i don't exactly adapt well to sudden changes esp those that involve endings goodness gracious)

really.

i think my heart must have grown so much stronger to have endured every one of them and survived so far

haha

it's only october

not even mid-oct, though it's coming real soon

and already i find this year really eventful

bla

and then there's another thing;

so we should start conversations w others first

so we should take the initiative to interact

but..

so..

the other party doesnt have to do the same?

this is so confusing..

yeah not even i understand what i'm trying to say if i'm an outsider who doesn't know how my mind is functioning and reading this post

expression problems

exhaustion, too

but i definitely know what it is i'm talking about haha

犯過錯不必覺得可恥。

相同的，有了過錯也不必恥於改錯。

6:38 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Monday, October 12, 2009

goodness i find it seriously hard to believe the extent to which people go to in order to push the blame for any shortcoming of theirs unto someone else.

the extent.. to which they don't care even if it sounds really 莫名其妙

YOU are just one self-centred delusional person who refuses to take responsibility for anything that may go wrong and wants only credit for things whether or not you put effort in them

sometimes i really find it unbelievable i ever doubted others' words and gave you that chance i thought you deserved

well you proved to me that perhaps some people really deserve zero chances

you proved to me that some people deserves no benefits of doubt

you showed me how downright disgusting human can be

at the rate you're going, you'll probably end up with no true friend

birds of the same kind flock together - you've heard of it aven't you?

well, i hope you realise the kinda selfish acts you engage in

no matter how well you think you're doing at ensuring that you're befriending only people you can take advantage of

people, trust me on this, will one day wake up to discover the kind of person you really are, and perhaps leave you

and maybe the ones you'll be left with are people like yourself

who of course, you'll come to despise

the kind of person you are, whatever you did, everything you said, i'll make sure i remember every single thing.

the exact reaction from you when you realised i'm suspecting the kind of person you are

i'll remember that forever

because of that, i find you one of the most disgusting people i've ever encountered

but that's okay, i'm glad i met you

because of you i realise human nature can vary

from the extreme negative to the extreme positive

whatever i'm trying to say

and for that i thank you

so that perhaps later in my life i'll not go so close to a person such as you anymore yeah

多吃無滋味，多話不值錢。

9:53 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

i realise when i get going i'll go on and on and eventually sidetrack.
afterwhich i'll have absolutely no idea at all what i intended to discuss initially.
bravo.
but i'm not gonna care i'm just gonna let things out.
like.. diarrhoea.? food poisoning?
whatever. (:

it's been super long since i've talked to, let's see..
quite a number of friends.
haha.
and then i went looking at a friend's blog just now.
goodness so much happened, i feel like i'm totally out of the friend's life.
as though we never really did know each other.
man this is upsetting alright.

so these days.. since beginning this year i guess? i've been fretting a lot about my own stuff.
promotional status, ability to mix with the class etcetc
come to think of it, i've been pretty self-centred this year huh
it's been.. lit. econs. math. gp. how exactly am i gonna score. can i really interact with the class. can i promote. how am i going to lose weight.
really.. i'm disgusted with myself.
there are people out there falling out with each other, and i don't know of it until like, days later.
weeks, even.
i. am. really. ashamed. of. myself.
so maybe there's improvement academic-wise as compared to last year, albeit a minute one, yet i've completely failed as a friend.
AND WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MY DETERMINATION TO BLOG IN PROPER ENGLISH?
apparently i said buhbye to it without even knowing.
nice one there.

so i was just thinking. what if i went back and try starting conversations with people i haven't talked for, i don't know, 1 year? 2 years?
is it gonna be weird? definitely i guess.
is it gonna be tough finding a topic to talk about? i think so.
is it gonna be hard trying to talk normally, like we never lost contact from each other? yeah.
goodness i must be going mad.
i'm actually answering my own questions.

people tell me i actually think a lot.
right so maybe i do, i'll admit it.
but.. the things i think about nowadays and the things that i used to think about are seriously pretty different.
i used to think about.. i don't know. life?
things that i don't really have a definite answer to.
like, once i thought life was like a game.
and then i thought maybe everyone else didnt really exist. like, they're just there for the sake of being there.
no i'm not gonna elaborate they're pretty complicated haha.
but now.. things i think about are pretty useless.
like, what if this person hates me. am i still gonna talk to that person. blablabla.
yeah you get the idea.
pretty nonsensical stuff.
the decay of my mind..
something has to be done about it.

even this entire post is pretty self-centred ohmygod.
it's all about me myself and i.
goodness.

right there was something else i wanted to talk about but it's totally gone from my mind now
==
so we shall wait till it decides to make another appearance in my head. (:

想要嘴唇迷人，

那就試著說些仁慈善良的話。

9:34 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Friday, October 9, 2009

yay so after the longlonglonglonglonglong time of constant paranoia of random shit i realise it was all for nothing

and after the longlonglonglonglonglong time of..

right nvm.

let's just say it was all a mistake (:

now it's all in the name of fun joy and laughter.

except it feels sooooooooo weird?

yeah haha

but well.

lets just see what happens ahhaha~

如果你跟人爭辯、衝突，

可能會得到暫時的勝利，

但卻是一種空虛的勝利，

因為你永遠無法贏得對方的好感。

3:10 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

right so.

apparently it is not good for me to stay online far too late into the night.

cuz i get "drunk"

i become..

basically i'm not sober.

and i think alotalotalotalotalotalotalot

yeah.

and i nearly did something crazy haha.

for all we know that bout of madness in me might just resurface tomorrow night

during whywhylove

and then i'll really do the crazy thing.

shh.

蘋果可以在五分鐘內吃掉，

但五分鐘卻長不出蘋果。

1:26 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

yeah so maybe i do worry and think a tad too much at times about some things which are supposed to be well.. i don't know. easy. not so complicated. yeah.

but i can't help it can i

urgh

T.T

oh i wasn't so worried about results yet.

like, yeah i was worried but not as worried as i am now

but then yuge decided to inform me her school's telling them who's gonna get kicked out so now i'm here worrying like i don't know what (:

nice one.

hahahaha
ha
hahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

yeah okay whatever.

T.T

多接近大自然，

便會自心底湧生出無窮的愛心。

6:58 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

haha:

Enough is enough - and you feel that you've had enough for a while. You don't need any more battles. You just would like to be able to shout 'stop' and experience a little peace and calm - even if it be only for a little while. This doesn't mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world - it just means that you are seeking some respite, some physical or emotional relaxation that could release some of the the tension and possibly reduce the internal conflict.
You are a leader and possibly at this tine in a position of authority, but you are experiencing problems. You are not quite sure how to handle the present situation.
Matters are not progressing as well as you would have hoped and you are having to make concessions - but you still believe that your goals are realistic it's just that people can't seem to see your point of view. You know what you want but you'll only accept suggestions under duress.
You are on tenterhooks and appear to be extremely nervous and upset. You are bored and you feel that life has far more to offer than this present day mundane existence. The way that you feel indicates that you have the need for a responsive and understanding relationship. You are prepared to follow up any opportunity which may present itself. However you are very choosy and you refuse to be swept off your feet unless integrity can proved to be 100% genuine. Therefore you are holding back, keeping your emotions in check because before you let down your guard you have to be sure. You are too trusting and you have no desire to be hurt again. You are responsive to conditions around you - but forever under control.
There is an inherent fear that you may be prevented from achieving the things you want. This activates your subconscious desire for peace of mind and mental security. It is increasingly obvious to you that the environment that you are in is not conducive to your well-being and so you are seeking fresh fields - somewhere free of conflict where you can RELAX and THINK.

如果一件事情值得你去做，

那也就值得你多去做。

4:18 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

coincidence? or true?

3:28 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

the cards say..

很難拿出勇氣，步調較慢，可能會讓勁敵勝出。這時要拿出勇氣來，下定決心進攻才能獲得成功。

3:33 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.

warning: pretty much posted in chinese. cuz not a lot of people will bother reading chinese posts so it's safer for this to be posted this way i guess? haha.

喜歡一個人

就不該給他造成任何的困擾

對吧

好無奈喔