Friday, October 31, 2008
我..
为何会想念你.?
{EDIT\}
对.
我就是有点儿想你.
怎样.
!@#$%^&*()
{EDIT\}
需要这样吗？
{EDIT\}
i shall take it one of the screws in my head got loosened and fell somewhere in the grounds of sajc today (:
为何会想念你.?
{EDIT\}
对.
我就是有点儿想你.
怎样.
!@#$%^&*()
{EDIT\}
需要这样吗？
{EDIT\}
i shall take it one of the screws in my head got loosened and fell somewhere in the grounds of sajc today (:
9:58 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i'm seriously looking forward to moving out now.
fuck.
rent a room rent a flat and live with friends WHATEVER.
i just wanna MOVE OUT.
fuck.
rent a room rent a flat and live with friends WHATEVER.
i just wanna MOVE OUT.
7:23 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i crashed sajc today hahaha!!
yuge's shirt is seriously darn big.
too big for me.
i bet i looked like some weirdo walking around the campus whee~
okay luh.
there are more guys to ogle there than at pj (x
and apparently sa and pj aren't as far from each other as i thought :0
OP today!
god i looooooove you people man.
there supporting each other.
lala.
oh.
normally i keep overshooting my 5mins.
today i didn't even hit the 5mins.
damn.
firing away like a stupid machine gun.
should have asked for time to think the question through during Q&A session.
think i screwed it up.
too little points..
URGH.
i think i slimmed down a little, judging from my arms.
not sure about my waist.
but wth i think all the fats went down to my legs.
-.-
!@#$%^&*()
yuge's shirt is seriously darn big.
too big for me.
i bet i looked like some weirdo walking around the campus whee~
okay luh.
there are more guys to ogle there than at pj (x
and apparently sa and pj aren't as far from each other as i thought :0
OP today!
god i looooooove you people man.
there supporting each other.
lala.
oh.
normally i keep overshooting my 5mins.
today i didn't even hit the 5mins.
damn.
firing away like a stupid machine gun.
should have asked for time to think the question through during Q&A session.
think i screwed it up.
too little points..
URGH.
i think i slimmed down a little, judging from my arms.
not sure about my waist.
but wth i think all the fats went down to my legs.
-.-
!@#$%^&*()
6:47 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I can see the first leaf falling
it's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
like the way I'm feeling inside
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
Outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
why did it have to happen
why did it all have to end
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I have your arms around me warm like fire
but when I open my eyes
you're gone...
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do feel I will miss you much
miss you much...
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I can see the first leaf falling
it's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
like the way I'm feeling inside
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
Outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
why did it have to happen
why did it all have to end
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I have your arms around me warm like fire
but when I open my eyes
you're gone...
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I do do will miss you much
miss you much...
I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do feel I will miss you much
miss you much...
courtesy of:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/big-big-world-lyrics-emilia.html
http://www.metrolyrics.com/big-big-world-lyrics-emilia.html
11:40 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
someone tell me what this feeling is.
11:05 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i suck as an SL.
and i suck as a friend.
and i suck as a friend.
10:16 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
when yuge told me this guy said she can cry on his shoulders if she wants to..
i don't know why but i just suddenly started thinking,
without my own knowledge,
without my permission,
i asked myself,
what if i was her, and that guy was you.
i realised, no, i won't want to cry on your shoulders.
i never wanted you more than a friend.
i could never take you closer than a good friend.
i won't open myself up to you.
don't ask me why.
i never did understand why.
but now i do.
i just can't trust you enough.
never.
for all i know,
you might just make use of my weakness and exploit me or something.
sure, you keep telling me people make use of me people are exploiting me over this and that but..
what about you?
that's how much i've lost faith in you.
not even as a friend can i trust you anymore.
and over this sad fact i nearly cried.
i felt like crying.
the tears didn't come.
it feels awful yes but..
i guess..
at least i realise how much i don't need you.
i don't know why but i just suddenly started thinking,
without my own knowledge,
without my permission,
i asked myself,
what if i was her, and that guy was you.
i realised, no, i won't want to cry on your shoulders.
i never wanted you more than a friend.
i could never take you closer than a good friend.
i won't open myself up to you.
don't ask me why.
i never did understand why.
but now i do.
i just can't trust you enough.
never.
for all i know,
you might just make use of my weakness and exploit me or something.
sure, you keep telling me people make use of me people are exploiting me over this and that but..
what about you?
that's how much i've lost faith in you.
not even as a friend can i trust you anymore.
and over this sad fact i nearly cried.
i felt like crying.
the tears didn't come.
it feels awful yes but..
i guess..
at least i realise how much i don't need you.
可心怎么还会隐隐作痛.?
9:18 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
maybe i am..
then again.
maybe i'm not.
then again.
maybe i'm not.
9:17 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
am i too oversensitive, or what.
7:43 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
yay went out with yuge today!
:D:D
okay i'm not gonna post the pictures because i look darn ugly.
so!
ya we went mad.
wait!
let's start from the beginning.
my alarm woke me up at.. 7am.
yup.
7am.
then i thought, yay can laze a bit.
and in the end i woke up only at 0830.
-.-
so rushed to wash up and things, meeting yuge at wheelock's borders only at 0945.
XDD
lent her 20bucks to get her Breaking Dawn.
bla.
so now i'm positively broke.
then off we set off for macs so she could get a bite.
and we stopped by Grand Hyatt and Mariott hotel because yuge wanted to act posh.
trust us, we were mad.
who goes around hotels for fun harlow!
mad girls like us.
and i think the staff there find us weird.
cuz we were walking around doing nothing.
and we saw a lot of shuai4 ge1 at Grand Hyatt.
and took a few pics at Mariott's washroom.
-.-
and yuge was very tempted to play the grand piano at the reception.
i threatened to run away.
(:
and then we reached macs.
she got a.. wasabi fillet burger whatever thing it is you call it.
and she nearly cried eating it.
((:
so then we went off to Kino.
passed by this damn nice shop selling pretty unique clothes at Far East.
on our way to Taka we saw this SG JewelFest 2008 thing.
starts at 12nn.
it was..
11+.
so we decided to go kino first.
walked around taka going gaga over clothes.
and their prices.
(:
but gah some of them were really nice kae!
yup.
and went Jimmy Choo.
okay luh.
don't think the shoes are particularly nice leh.
:\
then we went kino.
she found Eclipse.
so she reserved it.
i'm going there again on monday to get it with her.
((:
hopped by Mont Blanc.
yuge was wowing over the pens.
i walked on.
she asked me what some things were.
they were cufflinks luh.
but i bloody forgot what those things were called dammit.
then this guy walked by and told her what they were.
even explained to her what they were for.
yuge was like,whatthehell buttons can already what!
well.
guys can be more vain than us girls.
*shrugs*
(:
and i think the stupid salesman there think we were sot walking around the shop.
OI CAN'T WE JUST LOOK.
>:(
then we went down to the JewelFest.
i think..
not all of those stuff there were nice lor.
only the angel's wing thingy caught my eye.
and 2 dresses with some jewelleries adorned.
thats all.
and this stupid guy kept looking at us.
we think it's because they find it weird that two teens were walking around a JEWELFEST (like,teens leh,duh no money right.then go there for what.) and furthermore yuge was in her uniform HAHA!
but anyway he gave us two chocs.
from meiji.
CHEAPO.
then off she went to school and i went home.
yay.
i reached home around what, 1plus.
so sian luh!
so only my morning was fun.
i duncare i wanna go shopping sometime!
when i have the money again.
because hazique just tempted me to get the iPod nano.
the refurbished one.
about S$150.
okay luh worth it.
maybe i'll get it.
but i'll definitely be broke.
so i should work.
yep.
how do i get jobs.
hmm.
HOW!?
T.T
ohOH and i called singtel about the bills for my mum.
stupid woman who answered was super duper rude.
until i asked for her name.
cuz i was super angry.
like, HARLOW.
you think you can bully me ah!
walau.
complain then you know ah.
so i asked for her name.
not because i wanted to complain luh.
like, just see if she's worried that i will complain.
indeed her attitude became a hell lot nicer.
stupid bitch.
coward.
敢做不敢当.
hate this kinda people seriously.
urgh.
:D:D
okay i'm not gonna post the pictures because i look darn ugly.
so!
ya we went mad.
wait!
let's start from the beginning.
my alarm woke me up at.. 7am.
yup.
7am.
then i thought, yay can laze a bit.
and in the end i woke up only at 0830.
-.-
so rushed to wash up and things, meeting yuge at wheelock's borders only at 0945.
XDD
lent her 20bucks to get her Breaking Dawn.
bla.
so now i'm positively broke.
then off we set off for macs so she could get a bite.
and we stopped by Grand Hyatt and Mariott hotel because yuge wanted to act posh.
trust us, we were mad.
who goes around hotels for fun harlow!
mad girls like us.
and i think the staff there find us weird.
cuz we were walking around doing nothing.
and we saw a lot of shuai4 ge1 at Grand Hyatt.
and took a few pics at Mariott's washroom.
-.-
and yuge was very tempted to play the grand piano at the reception.
i threatened to run away.
(:
and then we reached macs.
she got a.. wasabi fillet burger whatever thing it is you call it.
and she nearly cried eating it.
((:
so then we went off to Kino.
passed by this damn nice shop selling pretty unique clothes at Far East.
on our way to Taka we saw this SG JewelFest 2008 thing.
starts at 12nn.
it was..
11+.
so we decided to go kino first.
walked around taka going gaga over clothes.
and their prices.
(:
but gah some of them were really nice kae!
yup.
and went Jimmy Choo.
okay luh.
don't think the shoes are particularly nice leh.
:\
then we went kino.
she found Eclipse.
so she reserved it.
i'm going there again on monday to get it with her.
((:
hopped by Mont Blanc.
yuge was wowing over the pens.
i walked on.
she asked me what some things were.
they were cufflinks luh.
but i bloody forgot what those things were called dammit.
then this guy walked by and told her what they were.
even explained to her what they were for.
yuge was like,whatthehell buttons can already what!
well.
guys can be more vain than us girls.
*shrugs*
(:
and i think the stupid salesman there think we were sot walking around the shop.
OI CAN'T WE JUST LOOK.
>:(
then we went down to the JewelFest.
i think..
not all of those stuff there were nice lor.
only the angel's wing thingy caught my eye.
and 2 dresses with some jewelleries adorned.
thats all.
and this stupid guy kept looking at us.
we think it's because they find it weird that two teens were walking around a JEWELFEST (like,teens leh,duh no money right.then go there for what.) and furthermore yuge was in her uniform HAHA!
but anyway he gave us two chocs.
from meiji.
CHEAPO.
then off she went to school and i went home.
yay.
i reached home around what, 1plus.
so sian luh!
so only my morning was fun.
i duncare i wanna go shopping sometime!
when i have the money again.
because hazique just tempted me to get the iPod nano.
the refurbished one.
about S$150.
okay luh worth it.
maybe i'll get it.
but i'll definitely be broke.
so i should work.
yep.
how do i get jobs.
hmm.
HOW!?
T.T
ohOH and i called singtel about the bills for my mum.
stupid woman who answered was super duper rude.
until i asked for her name.
cuz i was super angry.
like, HARLOW.
you think you can bully me ah!
walau.
complain then you know ah.
so i asked for her name.
not because i wanted to complain luh.
like, just see if she's worried that i will complain.
indeed her attitude became a hell lot nicer.
stupid bitch.
coward.
敢做不敢当.
hate this kinda people seriously.
urgh.
4:51 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
i.
am.
super.
duper.
frustrated.
WHATTHEHELL LUH!
okay relaxrelax.
gah.
i'll really whack somebody one day.
fuck.
stupid arrogant bastard.
i'm gonna bang my head hard against the wall in frustration soon.
URGH.
i shall NOT be nice anymore and yak more about exposing the asshole side of you.
that's not the only thing that's frustrating me.
there's something else.
something bothering me.
confusing rubbish.
i hate all confusing things.
i wanna go shop for more clothes.
and a lot of things luh.
gah.
swim.
QIANNING BADMINTON.
hello.
WALAU I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO CONSOLE ME AND LEND ME A LISN\TENING EAR CANNOT IS IT.
WHATTHEFUCK.
okay i know.
blame it on myself for trusting nobody.
no wait.
blame it on 2 people who killed any trust i have in anybody.
eh waitwait.
more of one of the 2 people.
yep.
am.
super.
duper.
frustrated.
WHATTHEHELL LUH!
okay relaxrelax.
gah.
i'll really whack somebody one day.
fuck.
stupid arrogant bastard.
i'm gonna bang my head hard against the wall in frustration soon.
URGH.
i shall NOT be nice anymore and yak more about exposing the asshole side of you.
that's not the only thing that's frustrating me.
there's something else.
something bothering me.
confusing rubbish.
i hate all confusing things.
i wanna go shop for more clothes.
and a lot of things luh.
gah.
swim.
QIANNING BADMINTON.
hello.
WALAU I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO CONSOLE ME AND LEND ME A LISN\TENING EAR CANNOT IS IT.
WHATTHEFUCK.
okay i know.
blame it on myself for trusting nobody.
no wait.
blame it on 2 people who killed any trust i have in anybody.
eh waitwait.
more of one of the 2 people.
yep.
11:43 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
♥yuge★ says (3:52 PM):
u noe just now i searched one forum
then got this sperson he sae
something love can do love can do wat?
zhiyu` says (3:52 PM):
love can do nothing
♥yuge★ says (3:52 PM):
i wanted to reply. love can turn u into a guy without dick
(Y)
u noe just now i searched one forum
then got this sperson he sae
something love can do love can do wat?
zhiyu` says (3:52 PM):
love can do nothing
♥yuge★ says (3:52 PM):
i wanted to reply. love can turn u into a guy without dick
(Y)
3:53 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
SOT LUH.
okay i'm gonna wake up nownowNOW and realise i was being mad last time.
months before.
yup.
it was all a hallucination i believe.
there was no feelings for anyone all this time whatsoever.
yep.
(:
because knowing myself i don't fall for people easily.
so.
what do you call that.
it was, at most, an infatuation.
yup.
i'm convinced.
so now i'm telling and laughing at myself for my stupidity.
idiocy.
how dumb i was.
-.-
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO REPLACE THAT EMPTINESS ONLY WHAT.
TSK!
well.
at least i'm clear now.
haha!
okay i'm gonna wake up nownowNOW and realise i was being mad last time.
months before.
yup.
it was all a hallucination i believe.
there was no feelings for anyone all this time whatsoever.
yep.
(:
because knowing myself i don't fall for people easily.
so.
what do you call that.
it was, at most, an infatuation.
yup.
i'm convinced.
so now i'm telling and laughing at myself for my stupidity.
idiocy.
how dumb i was.
-.-
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO REPLACE THAT EMPTINESS ONLY WHAT.
TSK!
well.
at least i'm clear now.
haha!
1:35 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i live in two worlds now.
there's this one where i put on a happy front to make everyone happy, not having them worried about me..
and this one where i totally hate myself for being so incapable of making my life better for myself.
don't tell me to be myself.
it's already a habit.
besides, i hate it when people worry about me.
because i see myself as a nobody.
it's not that suicide hasn't crossed my mind before.
i don't want a funeral.
just dump my body into the incinerator.
but whatthehell, there's still OP.
and then the camp.
i don't want to trouble hazique to tell the person that there'll be one less person coming.
and they'll have to regroup everyone again.
so the earliest i can die is like..
after CNY?
yup.
after i get all the angbao money for my mummy.
yep.
so troublesome luh.
i still have to think about all these before i die.
tsk.
there's this one where i put on a happy front to make everyone happy, not having them worried about me..
and this one where i totally hate myself for being so incapable of making my life better for myself.
don't tell me to be myself.
it's already a habit.
besides, i hate it when people worry about me.
because i see myself as a nobody.
it's not that suicide hasn't crossed my mind before.
i don't want a funeral.
just dump my body into the incinerator.
but whatthehell, there's still OP.
and then the camp.
i don't want to trouble hazique to tell the person that there'll be one less person coming.
and they'll have to regroup everyone again.
so the earliest i can die is like..
after CNY?
yup.
after i get all the angbao money for my mummy.
yep.
so troublesome luh.
i still have to think about all these before i die.
tsk.
i know a lot of things changed..
in fact, maybe everything changed.
my life's spinning out of my control.
in fact, maybe everything changed.
my life's spinning out of my control.
12:44 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i realise i remember nothing from any of those happy days i once had.
nothing.
nothing at all.
yayness.
and hell, yes, i miss those happy days.
weird huh, when i remember nothing.
nothing.
nothing at all.
yayness.
and hell, yes, i miss those happy days.
weird huh, when i remember nothing.
nobody's gonna make me happy anymore anyway.
12:41 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
歌名：原来你什么都不要 歌手：张惠妹
我知道这样不好
也知道你的爱只能那么少
我只有不停地要
要到你想逃
泪湿的枕头晒干就好
眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹
依偎在你身后
是我一辈子的骄傲
原来你什么都不想要
我不要你的呵护你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
哪个女人对爱不自私不奢望
我不要你的承诺不要你的永远
只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
最怕你把沉默当做对我的回答
我知道这样不好
也知道你的爱只能那么少
我只有不停地要
要到你想逃
泪湿的枕头晒干就好
眼泪在你的心里只是无理取闹
依偎在你身后
是我一辈子的骄傲
原来你什么都不想要
我不要你的呵护你的玫瑰
只要你好好久久爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
哪个女人对爱不自私不奢望
我不要你的承诺不要你的永远
只要你真真切切爱我一遍
就算虚荣也好贪心也好
最怕你把沉默当做对我的回答
12:27 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
my diarrhoea refuses to go away.
and i still feel like vomitting.
yay.
at least mrs fadzleen agreed to let me off to the doctor's before i go to school tomorrow so it's okay even if i'm late.?
i guess..
:\
and i still feel like vomitting.
yay.
at least mrs fadzleen agreed to let me off to the doctor's before i go to school tomorrow so it's okay even if i'm late.?
i guess..
:\
11:24 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i saw another cute guy.
my friend's friend.
(Y)
XDD
wait.
why do i keep spotting cute guys.
o.o
heavens finally bringing me luck, or heavens trying to make a fool out of me?
whoever's up there thinks i can still be toyed around?
hurt?
whatever?
oh dear.
my friend's friend.
(Y)
XDD
wait.
why do i keep spotting cute guys.
o.o
heavens finally bringing me luck, or heavens trying to make a fool out of me?
whoever's up there thinks i can still be toyed around?
hurt?
whatever?
oh dear.
10:19 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
guess what.
i puked thrice just now.
my entire cup of oreo milo is literally down the sewage.
((:
{EDIT\}
it's okay i puked.
it's not okay i'm now down with diarrhoea besides wanting to vomit.
had serious pains thrice already.
then went to the washroom D'OH.
so drank the 5 pagoda mixture.
now i still feel like puking and my stomach still feels darn weird.
as though the pains will come back anytime.
damn it.
i wonder how i'm gonna make it to school tomorrow.
((:
i puked thrice just now.
my entire cup of oreo milo is literally down the sewage.
((:
{EDIT\}
it's okay i puked.
it's not okay i'm now down with diarrhoea besides wanting to vomit.
had serious pains thrice already.
then went to the washroom D'OH.
so drank the 5 pagoda mixture.
now i still feel like puking and my stomach still feels darn weird.
as though the pains will come back anytime.
damn it.
i wonder how i'm gonna make it to school tomorrow.
((:
1:29 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
yay i puked 4 times in two hours last night and once this morning.
now i have gastric pains.
i don't know why.
i'm full.
seriously.
(Y)
i think i should go for a checkup or something.
irritating digestive system i have.
and, whatthefuck, THAT CRAZY IDIOT IS STILL BLOCKING ME.
WALAU ENOUGH IS ENOUGH HOR.
stupid immatured arse.
so effing childish.
to think you're older than me.
gah.
just another random guy proving to me how much dumber his breed is as compared to those of my gender i guess.
!@#$%^&*()
so i shall stick to thinking about the i-don't-know-old-he-is guy who cut my hair.
((:
whee~
now i have gastric pains.
i don't know why.
i'm full.
seriously.
(Y)
i think i should go for a checkup or something.
irritating digestive system i have.
and, whatthefuck, THAT CRAZY IDIOT IS STILL BLOCKING ME.
WALAU ENOUGH IS ENOUGH HOR.
stupid immatured arse.
so effing childish.
to think you're older than me.
gah.
just another random guy proving to me how much dumber his breed is as compared to those of my gender i guess.
!@#$%^&*()
so i shall stick to thinking about the i-don't-know-old-he-is guy who cut my hair.
((:
whee~
1:03 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
give it up already will you.
1:02 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Monday, October 27, 2008
AHAHA I WENT TO CUT MY HAIR!
went to visit my aunt and to cut hair.
whee~
the guy who cut my hair was C-U-T-E CUTE.
:DD
so i don't give a darn about my ec or that stupid crush already.
:D:D
but [the guy who cut my hair] kept asking if i have a bf how many bfs i've had how old i am how long my rs lasted why my rs failed.
o.o
and i wanna whack tuanqi.
(:
pwpwPW! OP!
gah.
oh and i drew a good lot at Kusu Island today :DD
i think i suck as an SL.
went to visit my aunt and to cut hair.
whee~
the guy who cut my hair was C-U-T-E CUTE.
:DD
so i don't give a darn about my ec or that stupid crush already.
:D:D
but [the guy who cut my hair] kept asking if i have a bf how many bfs i've had how old i am how long my rs lasted why my rs failed.
o.o
and i wanna whack tuanqi.
(:
pwpwPW! OP!
gah.
oh and i drew a good lot at Kusu Island today :DD
i think i suck as an SL.
7:28 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Friday, October 24, 2008
super good mood.
don't know why.
haha!
ohOH!
i ponned math lesson today.
first ever math lesson i ever pon!
and it's the last math lesson this year.
-.-
SO DUMB!
was doing my script for OP luh..
so OP!
it was..
i don't know.
i was super duper nervous can!
trembling all the way until PW ended.
dots i i know.
so!
because of my nervousness i kept looking at my script, glancing at the audience for very short moments.
stupid right.
then the woman said yup im clear (mrs fadzleen agreed. everyone did actually. :D:D) but i shouldn't keep reading off my script, try and engage the audience, maintain eye contact and be more confident.
okay luh since when have i been confident.
i kept telling myself okay this is just like CO performing dance performing choir performing i've done so many performances nothing wrong de besides nobody's looking so just relax and let go.
but then i suddenly reminded myself how nervous i was most of the time before performances -.-
SO DUMB.
and during the presentation somehow i just felt people looking.
and talking.
and immediately i thought, are they badmouthing me!?
and panicked more.
so i died on the spot.
but okay i know what to do about my slides to improve them already :D
so after OP i went home before CO.
i thought practice starts at 3pm.
i went there to be told it starts at 3.30pm.
okay.
nvm.
it was 18mins past 3pm already anyway.
so i went co room.
sat there.
stoned.
sian.
walked out to look for cheryl and huiqi.
told a lot of people thought it starts at 4pm so doris said okay luh 4pm also nvm.
shocked.
so sat there and stoned.
then saw ec.
and pam came.
so went crapping with her.
she ate too much cadbury boost and got a stomachache HAHA!
okay why am i haha-ing when i keep getting gastric pains and stomachaches.
and i have a stomachache now.
stupid pepsi.
SO!
when practice started.
wufei took his time on the first few bars of fengnianji.
haiya used to it with lum already luh.
but i was too lazy to play dizi.
so i went out to chase meiqi zhixian and cass back.
after that i sat there.
stone again.
crapped a bit with kenny.
decided to go chase weili for co.
on my way out [because i wanted to avoid walking past odac room since the entire group was sitting right outside there !@#$%^&*() so i decided to take the long route via the notice boards], i saw MDM LIM.
omg luh and she called me!
sheesh.
i was so scared she wanted to ask why i'm not in the room practicing luh.
i mean, yes i have a legitimate reason BUT STILL!
so i walked there sheepishly.
and she said 7th nov pam and you report to dance room at 0830 for a photo taking session. 18 individual shots and 6 group shots. can you please inform pam for me. thanks.
then i 0.0
i mean, O.O
why me?
why not doris?
but well, okay lor, they selected me then me lor.
i don't mind.
so i said okay and went looking for weili.
then went back co room.
was about to walk to pam to inform her what mdm lim said but i noticed her in co room just in time.
so i walked to my seat.
i thought mdm lim told her already.
but she didn't.
so duh i told her.
oh and pjco got 2 more new teacher I/C.
the econs teachers.
the new female ones.
oh wait.
before i forget.
GUANYUE IS THE ONLY SECTION WITH FULL ATTENDANCE TODAY!
YAY!
HAHA!
:D:D
but i still think i suck as an SL.
GAH!
oh and i'm supposed to send the zhongsuos for repair myself.
S-I-A-N.
who does wufei think i am hello!?
why me!?
why not him!?
he can do that for sheng he can't do that for me!?
like that i might as well go repair the shengs myself too right!?
don't know what bras basah place.
now i have to search.
win already lor.
urgh.
okay why am i complaining.
-.-
you know.
sometimes i really want to coop myself up in a bubble.
well protected from all kinds of hurt.
floating up up and away.
away from the evil of mankind.
staying above everyone, looking down.
looking through the motives of everyone.
exposing their evil.
saving others from hurt.
can i.?
don't know why.
haha!
ohOH!
i ponned math lesson today.
first ever math lesson i ever pon!
and it's the last math lesson this year.
-.-
SO DUMB!
was doing my script for OP luh..
so OP!
it was..
i don't know.
i was super duper nervous can!
trembling all the way until PW ended.
dots i i know.
so!
because of my nervousness i kept looking at my script, glancing at the audience for very short moments.
stupid right.
then the woman said yup im clear (mrs fadzleen agreed. everyone did actually. :D:D) but i shouldn't keep reading off my script, try and engage the audience, maintain eye contact and be more confident.
okay luh since when have i been confident.
i kept telling myself okay this is just like CO performing dance performing choir performing i've done so many performances nothing wrong de besides nobody's looking so just relax and let go.
but then i suddenly reminded myself how nervous i was most of the time before performances -.-
SO DUMB.
and during the presentation somehow i just felt people looking.
and talking.
and immediately i thought, are they badmouthing me!?
and panicked more.
so i died on the spot.
but okay i know what to do about my slides to improve them already :D
so after OP i went home before CO.
i thought practice starts at 3pm.
i went there to be told it starts at 3.30pm.
okay.
nvm.
it was 18mins past 3pm already anyway.
so i went co room.
sat there.
stoned.
sian.
walked out to look for cheryl and huiqi.
told a lot of people thought it starts at 4pm so doris said okay luh 4pm also nvm.
shocked.
so sat there and stoned.
then saw ec.
and pam came.
so went crapping with her.
she ate too much cadbury boost and got a stomachache HAHA!
okay why am i haha-ing when i keep getting gastric pains and stomachaches.
and i have a stomachache now.
stupid pepsi.
SO!
when practice started.
wufei took his time on the first few bars of fengnianji.
haiya used to it with lum already luh.
but i was too lazy to play dizi.
so i went out to chase meiqi zhixian and cass back.
after that i sat there.
stone again.
crapped a bit with kenny.
decided to go chase weili for co.
on my way out [because i wanted to avoid walking past odac room since the entire group was sitting right outside there !@#$%^&*() so i decided to take the long route via the notice boards], i saw MDM LIM.
omg luh and she called me!
sheesh.
i was so scared she wanted to ask why i'm not in the room practicing luh.
i mean, yes i have a legitimate reason BUT STILL!
so i walked there sheepishly.
and she said 7th nov pam and you report to dance room at 0830 for a photo taking session. 18 individual shots and 6 group shots. can you please inform pam for me. thanks.
then i 0.0
i mean, O.O
why me?
why not doris?
but well, okay lor, they selected me then me lor.
i don't mind.
so i said okay and went looking for weili.
then went back co room.
was about to walk to pam to inform her what mdm lim said but i noticed her in co room just in time.
so i walked to my seat.
i thought mdm lim told her already.
but she didn't.
so duh i told her.
oh and pjco got 2 more new teacher I/C.
the econs teachers.
the new female ones.
oh wait.
before i forget.
GUANYUE IS THE ONLY SECTION WITH FULL ATTENDANCE TODAY!
YAY!
HAHA!
:D:D
but i still think i suck as an SL.
GAH!
oh and i'm supposed to send the zhongsuos for repair myself.
S-I-A-N.
who does wufei think i am hello!?
why me!?
why not him!?
he can do that for sheng he can't do that for me!?
like that i might as well go repair the shengs myself too right!?
don't know what bras basah place.
now i have to search.
win already lor.
urgh.
okay why am i complaining.
-.-
you know.
sometimes i really want to coop myself up in a bubble.
well protected from all kinds of hurt.
floating up up and away.
away from the evil of mankind.
staying above everyone, looking down.
looking through the motives of everyone.
exposing their evil.
saving others from hurt.
can i.?
我不要自己一个人
去面对未知的迷宫
眼看着幸福就在前头
却无法到手
不要自己一个人
无助的盲目去摸索
爱你 我像个小偷
终於有了选择
我不是你的晴空
你的心不爱我
只能继续委屈
做她的替代品
~
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
去面对未知的迷宫
眼看着幸福就在前头
却无法到手
不要自己一个人
无助的盲目去摸索
爱你 我像个小偷
终於有了选择
我不是你的晴空
你的心不爱我
只能继续委屈
做她的替代品
~
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了
说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着
要怎么停呢
9:00 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
never felt this lonely before.
really.
frankly?
if i can, i think i'd be drinking somewhere now.
drink till i fall dead on the streets.
drink till i don't remember a thing.
or really, maybe i should get into an accident.
get selective amnesia.
then i won't remember all these rubbish.
someone come wham my head against the wall now.
PLEASE.
really.
frankly?
if i can, i think i'd be drinking somewhere now.
drink till i fall dead on the streets.
drink till i don't remember a thing.
or really, maybe i should get into an accident.
get selective amnesia.
then i won't remember all these rubbish.
someone come wham my head against the wall now.
PLEASE.
maybe..
just maybe..
i'm not.
just maybe..
i'm not.
9:24 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
damn pissed.
super duper angry.
the day didn't start out like that de okay.
it was alright initially.
then hazique told me something that irritated me.
and then tuanqi come and piss me off.
followed by derek.
and finally jinxian.
OI WHATTHEHELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE TODAY.
WHAT GIVES YOU THE IDEA I CAN GET PROMOTED.
I REALLY HAVE NO CONFIDENCE OKAY..
ALL YOU PEOPLE JUST WANNA DEMORALISE ME AND KILL ANY BIT OF CONFIDENCE I HAVE RIGHT.
FINE.
YOU'VE DONE IT.
HAPPY?
WELL I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU ARE.
super duper angry.
the day didn't start out like that de okay.
it was alright initially.
then hazique told me something that irritated me.
and then tuanqi come and piss me off.
followed by derek.
and finally jinxian.
OI WHATTHEHELL IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE TODAY.
WHAT GIVES YOU THE IDEA I CAN GET PROMOTED.
I REALLY HAVE NO CONFIDENCE OKAY..
ALL YOU PEOPLE JUST WANNA DEMORALISE ME AND KILL ANY BIT OF CONFIDENCE I HAVE RIGHT.
FINE.
YOU'VE DONE IT.
HAPPY?
WELL I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU ARE.
fuck.
8:34 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
right i was going to type this whole stupid post about my heart hardening towards everyone already cuz of you-know-who.
and then i realised whatthehell it's not worth it.
he's not gonna give a shit.
so!
posted the post that i wanted to post here but got stopped by hazique on my private blog already.
sheena read it today and was like, hey ya i never really saw things from that point of view now i think about it it's true! but yup, we shouldn't stoop to their level.
so today i saw this bitch and just felt like slapping her the entire day.
saw ecs.
don't really feel anything already leh.
:\
so.
a lot of people ponned practice today.
just because they think their results suck.
eh harlow my results suck too?
or do you think i'm already used to my sucky results so i should be going for practice while the rest of you should be given time to adjust to it?
!@#$%^&*()
super bushuang with some people.
not gonna mention who luh duh.
went for dinner with some people from co after exco meeting.
didn't want to but pamela kept piaking me.
so violent.
*shakes head*
so i went in order to save my arm (:
and then i realised whatthehell it's not worth it.
he's not gonna give a shit.
so!
posted the post that i wanted to post here but got stopped by hazique on my private blog already.
sheena read it today and was like, hey ya i never really saw things from that point of view now i think about it it's true! but yup, we shouldn't stoop to their level.
so today i saw this bitch and just felt like slapping her the entire day.
saw ecs.
don't really feel anything already leh.
:\
so.
a lot of people ponned practice today.
just because they think their results suck.
eh harlow my results suck too?
or do you think i'm already used to my sucky results so i should be going for practice while the rest of you should be given time to adjust to it?
!@#$%^&*()
super bushuang with some people.
not gonna mention who luh duh.
went for dinner with some people from co after exco meeting.
didn't want to but pamela kept piaking me.
so violent.
*shakes head*
so i went in order to save my arm (:
idon'tlikeyou.
wayoveryou.
theguywhohardenedmyheart.
who'sgonnaundothehurthepileduntome?
wayoveryou.
theguywhohardenedmyheart.
who'sgonnaundothehurthepileduntome?
10:57 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
okay i'll keep that one thing to myself for now. but i'm not that angelic. i'm gonna vent it out somehow.
DAMN ALL YOU PEOPLE.
all i can say is, this bull here ain't gonna stand about doing nothing.
and she's majorly pissed.
the volcano?
oh it's a living one.
it's not as dead as all you people thought.
DAMN ALL YOU PEOPLE.
all i can say is, this bull here ain't gonna stand about doing nothing.
and she's majorly pissed.
the volcano?
oh it's a living one.
it's not as dead as all you people thought.
12:55 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
dammit results will be out TOMORROW!
T.T
super anxious now.
urgh.
learnt a few magic tricks just now HAHA!
and i could have gone to england for 3 weeks!
i could have gone with the lit class, and then stayed 2 more weeks with sheena at her friend's!
super wasted luh!!
went JP with sheena to get her bag.
she got the same one as me except the one she got is in black.
whee~
okay!
after that i went Outfitter Girls @ CWP with qianning in search of the dress i wanted.
SOLD.OUT.
URGH.
so i saw another $20 not bad shirt.
maybe buying lor.
hmm..
right.
now.
i should bathe.
and then eat.
lala~
RESULTS!
T.T
T.T
super anxious now.
urgh.
learnt a few magic tricks just now HAHA!
and i could have gone to england for 3 weeks!
i could have gone with the lit class, and then stayed 2 more weeks with sheena at her friend's!
super wasted luh!!
went JP with sheena to get her bag.
she got the same one as me except the one she got is in black.
whee~
okay!
after that i went Outfitter Girls @ CWP with qianning in search of the dress i wanted.
SOLD.OUT.
URGH.
so i saw another $20 not bad shirt.
maybe buying lor.
hmm..
right.
now.
i should bathe.
and then eat.
lala~
RESULTS!
T.T
8:46 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Monday, October 20, 2008
i really should stop blogging so many posts a day.
my past posts are all sent into the archive and nobody reads them like that!
haha.
so!
i was reading sheena's mum's blog and..
well.
you know, it's damn sweet how she cares for her mum and how her mum cares for her.
her mum's blog is like..
you don't really see any one post that doesn't mention sheena.
envious.
my brother was using the comp to play games when i came back at 6plus so i decided to take a nap.
when i finally bathed and things and wanted to start on PW at 10plus, the idiot refused to let go of the comp -.-
he thinks his game is more important than PW.
which involves the alvl grades of 4 people.
right.
win.
super angry with him.
so when i slept, i had weird dreams again.
tyhink i should go see some psychologist or somebody about my mental health.
i doubt any normal person has weird dreams all the time.
the dream this time were all very..
i don't know..
scattered.
came in parts.
so the most vivid one was sheena and qianning getting pregnant and giving birth.
oh and that i thought i was pregnant and i got so worried and frightened but it turned out i wasn't thank goodness.
i don't know how they got pregnant but they told me they had no boyfriends.
qianning gave the baby up for adoption.
no idea why i felt super upset about it.
sheena gave birth after qianning's baby was adopted and she didn't know what to do about her baby.
she told me not to go and to stay by her side through the entire birth.
she gave birth in school, at the concourse area.
(Y)
then!
i dreamt i was carrying a bunny (i think, can't remember) up to the arcadia and julia snatched it from me and said it was hers and hurried into the arcadia 0.0
also, i dreamt that i added a few of edmund's friends and a few of jon's friends online (on msn).
and then one guy came talking to me.
then i disturbed another guy.
but i couldn't type properly i don't know why.
but i know while talking i felt super inferior and things..
like, some idiot talking to two people.
gah.
can't remember the rest.
there was something about promo results and if i'll get promoted though but i'm too upset to remember it i guess.
someone tell me why i'm having all these weird dreams?
oh and i dreamt that two people unblocked me online.
right.
but i didn't talk to them.
too hurt? too upset?
no idea.
URGH.
frustrating.
i realise i'm kinda scared of sleeping nowadays.
i keep getting dreams that worry me about a lot of things and making me upset.
hai.
but i like sleeping!
how?
!@#$%^&*()
{EDIT\}
i don't know if i like being an INFP better or if i like being an INFJ better :\
my past posts are all sent into the archive and nobody reads them like that!
haha.
so!
i was reading sheena's mum's blog and..
well.
you know, it's damn sweet how she cares for her mum and how her mum cares for her.
her mum's blog is like..
you don't really see any one post that doesn't mention sheena.
envious.
my brother was using the comp to play games when i came back at 6plus so i decided to take a nap.
when i finally bathed and things and wanted to start on PW at 10plus, the idiot refused to let go of the comp -.-
he thinks his game is more important than PW.
which involves the alvl grades of 4 people.
right.
win.
super angry with him.
so when i slept, i had weird dreams again.
tyhink i should go see some psychologist or somebody about my mental health.
i doubt any normal person has weird dreams all the time.
the dream this time were all very..
i don't know..
scattered.
came in parts.
so the most vivid one was sheena and qianning getting pregnant and giving birth.
oh and that i thought i was pregnant and i got so worried and frightened but it turned out i wasn't thank goodness.
i don't know how they got pregnant but they told me they had no boyfriends.
qianning gave the baby up for adoption.
no idea why i felt super upset about it.
sheena gave birth after qianning's baby was adopted and she didn't know what to do about her baby.
she told me not to go and to stay by her side through the entire birth.
she gave birth in school, at the concourse area.
(Y)
then!
i dreamt i was carrying a bunny (i think, can't remember) up to the arcadia and julia snatched it from me and said it was hers and hurried into the arcadia 0.0
also, i dreamt that i added a few of edmund's friends and a few of jon's friends online (on msn).
and then one guy came talking to me.
then i disturbed another guy.
but i couldn't type properly i don't know why.
but i know while talking i felt super inferior and things..
like, some idiot talking to two people.
gah.
can't remember the rest.
there was something about promo results and if i'll get promoted though but i'm too upset to remember it i guess.
someone tell me why i'm having all these weird dreams?
oh and i dreamt that two people unblocked me online.
right.
but i didn't talk to them.
too hurt? too upset?
no idea.
URGH.
frustrating.
i realise i'm kinda scared of sleeping nowadays.
i keep getting dreams that worry me about a lot of things and making me upset.
hai.
but i like sleeping!
how?
!@#$%^&*()
{EDIT\}
i don't know if i like being an INFP better or if i like being an INFJ better :\
11:33 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
hello.
blogging on athiyah's laptop WAHAHA.
i seem to be using everyone's laptop for my own selfish purpose - BLOGGING.
sot.
jiayi is going to eat again.
he said nothing to do sian so eat lor.
i said later grow fat ah.
he -.- me.
kae lor.
right so i got my ponytail up into.. umm.. a twisted bun.
like, twist your ponytail and bring the end up to the top and put your scrunchie around it.
feels like it's gonna fall anytime HAHA!
cuz i just..
well.
put my scrunchie over and didn't give it any twist.
HAIYA I CAN'T DESCRIBE IT LUH.
yuk.
supposed to be in MPR3 listening to a talk by youjin but wahaha.
PON.
XDD
so this morning this professor, or, lecturer, from NUS faculty of arts and social sciences,
blogging on athiyah's laptop WAHAHA.
i seem to be using everyone's laptop for my own selfish purpose - BLOGGING.
sot.
jiayi is going to eat again.
he said nothing to do sian so eat lor.
i said later grow fat ah.
he -.- me.
kae lor.
right so i got my ponytail up into.. umm.. a twisted bun.
like, twist your ponytail and bring the end up to the top and put your scrunchie around it.
feels like it's gonna fall anytime HAHA!
cuz i just..
well.
put my scrunchie over and didn't give it any twist.
HAIYA I CAN'T DESCRIBE IT LUH.
yuk.
supposed to be in MPR3 listening to a talk by youjin but wahaha.
PON.
XDD
so this morning this professor, or, lecturer, from NUS faculty of arts and social sciences,
12:17 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
why can nobody understand that i don't work well under stress.
the more you pressurise me, the more i feel as though i'm not doing well enough, and when this goes on for too long, the motivation to work harder weakens.
any of you understands that?
i don't want to care what others think of me.
frankly, i've never cared.
until i realise what the impression that others have of you can change a lot of things.
and hence i guess i've been taught to mind how others think of me.
why do i care what others think of me then.
i don't know.
i really don't.
i don't want to.
but i'm too used to it.
seriously, can't all of us just accept the rest of us for who we are?
i'm happy being me.
rather, i WAS happy being me.
until all of you came and screwed my life up with all your thwarted impressions of me.
i don't expose all of me to everyone.
i won't say any one of you really really understands me.
yuge doesn't.
mau doesn't.
zhengpin doesn't.
mel doesn't.
my juniors don't.
my seniors don't.
jon doesn't.
stanley doesn't.
hoshiun doesn't.
jinxian doesn't.
nobody from any of my past or present classes do.
qianning doesn't.
edmund.. not really either.?
i won't blame any of them.
it's my fault for not having the guts to open up enough to anybody.
when (i forgot who) said i talk differently on msn and in person..
actually i do agree.
qianning doesn't see the difference because she's so used to having me around talking and things but well..
if she does pay attention..
i think i've changed.
i have.
ever since upper sec.
no wait, actually, i'm not sure when either.
but yes, i have changed i guess.
i'm no longer the happy-go-lucky person i used to be.
i try and appear happy and things because people just ask me why i'm so emo and tell me not to emo when i don't stay upbeat.
it's good - friends are concerned.
but when i get back at home, i reflect a hell lot and end up being emo.
emo when i go online talking to people.
have less to talk about.
i've always preferred listening to others.
talking about others.
rejecting attention on myself.
that way i emo lesser.
i don't think so much.
until this year..
i don't know what happened
but i'm just suddenly trying to talk a lot about myself.
and i guess..
it's super tiring trying to talk about myself to others.
especially when i feel as though nobody's being concerned.
and then i try and talk about them.
and they suddenly don't talk so much either.
don't know why.
true, maybe i'm trying to get some attention on myself.
but that's because i really feel as though maybe nobody cares at all.
and then i try and look for some hint of assurance that people do care about me.
sometimes i try too hard.
sometimes i start thinking, am i being too attention-seeking, and stop searching for that assurance.
i do know there are people who care.
like hazique, sheena.
i know they do.
i know i should happy with just that.
why then am i still dissatisfied?
why can't i just be thankful for whoever i have?
really, at times like these, i get really frustrated with myself.
i get really angry when i get the impression that people think they know me very well.
but once i calm down and think properly, i can't really blame anyone can i.
i'm the one not revealing much about myself.
naturally people think that's all about me.
why should i expect people to really understand me.
i really need people to be able to talk and be happy around me all the time and bring my mood up with them.
but nobody can stay happy forever.
everyone has their ups and downs like i do.
everyone feels emo at times too.
i can't be selfish and expect people to cheer me up right.
neither can i go about expecting people to just talk to me about everything, be open about themselves around me, especially when i daren't let myself out right?
i know i want to understand people, but..
people might want to understand me, know more about me too..
right.?
do they.?
i don't know.
what if someone sees my weakness and hurts me?
well, people can be afraid i'll do that too right.
so if everyone's so guarded and doubts each other..
the world will be..
i don't know..
bleak.?
is that the word.?
gah.
okay i shall go sleep!
pooh!
the more you pressurise me, the more i feel as though i'm not doing well enough, and when this goes on for too long, the motivation to work harder weakens.
any of you understands that?
i don't want to care what others think of me.
frankly, i've never cared.
until i realise what the impression that others have of you can change a lot of things.
and hence i guess i've been taught to mind how others think of me.
why do i care what others think of me then.
i don't know.
i really don't.
i don't want to.
but i'm too used to it.
seriously, can't all of us just accept the rest of us for who we are?
i'm happy being me.
rather, i WAS happy being me.
until all of you came and screwed my life up with all your thwarted impressions of me.
i don't expose all of me to everyone.
i won't say any one of you really really understands me.
yuge doesn't.
mau doesn't.
zhengpin doesn't.
mel doesn't.
my juniors don't.
my seniors don't.
jon doesn't.
stanley doesn't.
hoshiun doesn't.
jinxian doesn't.
nobody from any of my past or present classes do.
qianning doesn't.
edmund.. not really either.?
i won't blame any of them.
it's my fault for not having the guts to open up enough to anybody.
when (i forgot who) said i talk differently on msn and in person..
actually i do agree.
qianning doesn't see the difference because she's so used to having me around talking and things but well..
if she does pay attention..
i think i've changed.
i have.
ever since upper sec.
no wait, actually, i'm not sure when either.
but yes, i have changed i guess.
i'm no longer the happy-go-lucky person i used to be.
i try and appear happy and things because people just ask me why i'm so emo and tell me not to emo when i don't stay upbeat.
it's good - friends are concerned.
but when i get back at home, i reflect a hell lot and end up being emo.
emo when i go online talking to people.
have less to talk about.
i've always preferred listening to others.
talking about others.
rejecting attention on myself.
that way i emo lesser.
i don't think so much.
until this year..
i don't know what happened
but i'm just suddenly trying to talk a lot about myself.
and i guess..
it's super tiring trying to talk about myself to others.
especially when i feel as though nobody's being concerned.
and then i try and talk about them.
and they suddenly don't talk so much either.
don't know why.
true, maybe i'm trying to get some attention on myself.
but that's because i really feel as though maybe nobody cares at all.
and then i try and look for some hint of assurance that people do care about me.
sometimes i try too hard.
sometimes i start thinking, am i being too attention-seeking, and stop searching for that assurance.
i do know there are people who care.
like hazique, sheena.
i know they do.
i know i should happy with just that.
why then am i still dissatisfied?
why can't i just be thankful for whoever i have?
really, at times like these, i get really frustrated with myself.
i get really angry when i get the impression that people think they know me very well.
but once i calm down and think properly, i can't really blame anyone can i.
i'm the one not revealing much about myself.
naturally people think that's all about me.
why should i expect people to really understand me.
i really need people to be able to talk and be happy around me all the time and bring my mood up with them.
but nobody can stay happy forever.
everyone has their ups and downs like i do.
everyone feels emo at times too.
i can't be selfish and expect people to cheer me up right.
neither can i go about expecting people to just talk to me about everything, be open about themselves around me, especially when i daren't let myself out right?
i know i want to understand people, but..
people might want to understand me, know more about me too..
right.?
do they.?
i don't know.
what if someone sees my weakness and hurts me?
well, people can be afraid i'll do that too right.
so if everyone's so guarded and doubts each other..
the world will be..
i don't know..
bleak.?
is that the word.?
gah.
okay i shall go sleep!
pooh!
12:32 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
right.
so.
i've been slogging my guts out for OP slides on my part but now i look at it it doesn't look as though i've done much.
oh god.
but okay
i was editting two of stephanie's slides before i decided to give up and start on my own.
which is like, basically how TCM modernised, differences between past and present, why we're doing what we're doing.
my chapter.
right.
and then i scrolled down.................
AND WHY ARE THE CONCLUSION AND A&E NOT DONE?!
i don't know.
am i supposed to do them?
they aren't my chapters!
T.T
nvm.
i try.
read wr.
don't understand.
(:
so.
conclusion i put OBJECTIVES MET.
worked a bit more on my slides.
brain died.
and now having fun talking to edmund hazique and sheena.
and a little to derek.
tuanqi decided to make me upset just now.
he knows who he's making me upset over.
i shall not mention names.
he shall tell nobody.
((:
because i am sure i'm over him.even if i'm not i will.
eventually.
so he shall stop telling me all kinds of rubbish.
((:
right.
i dreamt i got retained and that mr khoo mrs fadzleen and mdm goh can't be bothered with me anymore.
and i forgot what else.
but yup.
the teachers not giving a shit about me while i got retained was the thing that upset me quite a lot i guess.
cuz i really put in a lot of effort this time.
so much more than the past.
hai i don't know luh.
i really won't know what to do if i get retained.
and i really think i'm gonna get retained.
)':
OKAY NO USE WORRYING NOW IS THERE.
my ahma was super cute today.
i shall not go into details.
laziness got the better of me (x
okay luh super emo these days i don't know why.
results and my getting retained (possibly. i think i will. but hoping i won't T.T) i guess.
hai~
ohoh and i've been having diarrhoea since i woke up -.-
what the..
gah.
PW and results?
i guess.
stomach still not feeling well.
anyone willing to trade the entire digestive system with me?
so.
i've been slogging my guts out for OP slides on my part but now i look at it it doesn't look as though i've done much.
oh god.
but okay
i was editting two of stephanie's slides before i decided to give up and start on my own.
which is like, basically how TCM modernised, differences between past and present, why we're doing what we're doing.
my chapter.
right.
and then i scrolled down.................
AND WHY ARE THE CONCLUSION AND A&E NOT DONE?!
i don't know.
am i supposed to do them?
they aren't my chapters!
T.T
nvm.
i try.
read wr.
don't understand.
(:
so.
conclusion i put OBJECTIVES MET.
worked a bit more on my slides.
brain died.
and now having fun talking to edmund hazique and sheena.
and a little to derek.
tuanqi decided to make me upset just now.
he knows who he's making me upset over.
i shall not mention names.
he shall tell nobody.
((:
because i am sure i'm over him.even if i'm not i will.
eventually.
so he shall stop telling me all kinds of rubbish.
((:
right.
i dreamt i got retained and that mr khoo mrs fadzleen and mdm goh can't be bothered with me anymore.
and i forgot what else.
but yup.
the teachers not giving a shit about me while i got retained was the thing that upset me quite a lot i guess.
cuz i really put in a lot of effort this time.
so much more than the past.
hai i don't know luh.
i really won't know what to do if i get retained.
and i really think i'm gonna get retained.
)':
OKAY NO USE WORRYING NOW IS THERE.
my ahma was super cute today.
i shall not go into details.
laziness got the better of me (x
okay luh super emo these days i don't know why.
results and my getting retained (possibly. i think i will. but hoping i won't T.T) i guess.
hai~
ohoh and i've been having diarrhoea since i woke up -.-
what the..
gah.
PW and results?
i guess.
stomach still not feeling well.
anyone willing to trade the entire digestive system with me?
11:59 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
"and i think i'm seriously allergic to exams. why? i'm falling sick. just like i do everytime examinations are around the corner."
i remember saying this like, somewhen before promos.
or was it midyears.?
promos luh right?
so anyway!
i think i may have found the answer to it:
INFJs... and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.
right. courtesy of Portrait of (insert Personality Type, INFJ in my case).
so.
haha!
and i got a diarrhoea worrying about OP slides just now.
so!
maybe that sentence is true afterall.?
hmm.
:D:D
i remember saying this like, somewhen before promos.
or was it midyears.?
promos luh right?
so anyway!
i think i may have found the answer to it:
INFJs... and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.
right. courtesy of Portrait of (insert Personality Type, INFJ in my case).
so.
haha!
and i got a diarrhoea worrying about OP slides just now.
so!
maybe that sentence is true afterall.?
hmm.
:D:D
6:03 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
so!
i was reading up on INFJs.
there's one part that's super true.
that i'd like one person to look at and reflect.
INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.
i was reading up on INFJs.
there's one part that's super true.
that i'd like one person to look at and reflect.
INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.
But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.
Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.
READ, TRY AND UNDERSTAND ME, THEN DECIDE IF YOU WANNA ARGUE WITH ME AND ACCUSE ME OF RANDOM SHIT.
9:50 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
tuanqi says he wants a post about him.
so.
TUANQI.
or.
AYAM BRAND TUNA.
there.
((:
okay so he wants to add something else.
i shall just copy and paste them here.
((x
- tuanqi was always the first to charge and the last to retreat on the battlefield.
- tuanqi single handedly, with only a spear and sword with no armour and no shield, killed 100 enemies, including the king of the adversary.
- tuanqi injured an enemy elephant with a single shot to the eye, causing the elephant to go amok and kill their own people instead.
right.
tales of his bravery.
rightright.
i copied and pasted it from our convo.
oh and he wants to be a legend.
((:
so.
TUANQI.
or.
AYAM BRAND TUNA.
there.
((:
okay so he wants to add something else.
i shall just copy and paste them here.
((x
- tuanqi was always the first to charge and the last to retreat on the battlefield.
- tuanqi single handedly, with only a spear and sword with no armour and no shield, killed 100 enemies, including the king of the adversary.
- tuanqi injured an enemy elephant with a single shot to the eye, causing the elephant to go amok and kill their own people instead.
right.
tales of his bravery.
rightright.
i copied and pasted it from our convo.
oh and he wants to be a legend.
((:
9:38 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i just swung to INFJ again.
why am i always swinging back and forth between INFJ and INFP?
and im not used to being an INFJ.
hai.
why am i always swinging back and forth between INFJ and INFP?
and im not used to being an INFJ.
hai.
9:28 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
right.
derek says i have bad taste.
edmund agrees.
okay.
regarding a certain someone i'm so angry with, yes i agree.
but otherwise..
REALLY MEH?
T.T
derek says i have bad taste.
edmund agrees.
okay.
regarding a certain someone i'm so angry with, yes i agree.
but otherwise..
REALLY MEH?
T.T
8:38 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
okay this one has to have a heading i don't care whether i'll appear childish or not. read on and you'll know why.
yes i know i'm not revealing every single thing but i'm not that evil so as to tarnish someone's name completely luh can.
okay luh i'm not that evil yet.
i'm still not gonna say everything don't worry.
i won't make you out to be more of the bastard that you already appear to be.
AS ACCORDING TO MY BLOG as you said.
well, fyi, i don't really care what i portray you as.
why?
because i'm not saying anything that's not true.
because i tell nothing but whatever i know.
do i really care whether you block me?
no.
at least, not now.
i don't care what bastards do.
i don't care whether bastards talk to me.
but i do care when bastards try and make use of my weakness and defame me or something.
the way i talk on my blog makes you sound like a jerk?
what about, go reflect whatever you did and ask yourself if i said anything wrong.
you and i know whatever it was that you said, whatever happened, as i said time and again in previous posts.
i'm not gonna reveal every single thing because i don't see what use it'll do to reveal what a true asshole you really are.
and dammit, i was only asking you one tiny little thing.
so i don't understand why exactly you have to come pissing me off.
and for the very last time, i don't see the reason why i have to make an effort talking to you.
because you don't make the fucking effort.
because all you do is destroy that motivation.
so you have no right to tell me i'm not making any effort so i shouldn't expect you to talk nicely.
well, it's not that i'm not making any efforts.
it's because you destroyed the motivation to make any efforts months ago.
i don't give a shit what impression i make on you.
it doesn't matter.
so i shouldn't talk to you?
yup.
i agree.
i know i don't have to talk to you.
but you know what?
i care about all my friends and things, i'm not the kind to let a friendship go without a reason, so i try not to talk to my friends for too long.
i'm not like you.
you bloody egoistic piece of shit.
don't even tell me i started talking about myself first.
because you were the one who, for nothing, came talking about me.
you dare say that, i'll printscreen the entire conversation here.
i swear i'll do that.
i've had enough of you bloody hell.
i was going to stop talking to you BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.
and then you come talking about ME.
thanks ah.
you live to irritate me don't you.
you won't rest till you see that you've driven me to my grave right.
you think you know a lot about me is that it.
fyi i don't tell you everything.
so stop behaving as though you're some stupid important person i need around in my life to speak to and confide everything in.
because i don't need you in my life i never saw you as anyone important.
maybe for that short one week or so but after that?
who do you think you are.
i can tell you very frankly you're just some random person in rvco that i happen to know.
and i don't even really know you.
i'm gonna be harsh and tell you, you aren't even a good friend.
maybe just an acquaintance.
just like how you think i'm not your friend.
you're just some random person i met on a trip who likes pissing me off.
you think im desperate you think im one who makes excuses for a lot of things blablabla FINE I DON'T CARE.
why are you telling me all these?
ch.
i don't even tell you what i think of you because i never saw the need to.
tell me why i should luh.
ch.
you think just because you're older you're better cleverer and things?
well, sadly, being older doesn't mean that way.
much less does it mean you're more matured and things.
in case you've yet to realise, i've had enough of tolerating all your childish nonsense, and those immature blocking me on msn just because im not saying anything that agrees with you.
why do you fucking care what i say and things.
because they do not concern you harlow.
it's not that i don't give a shit that MAYBE you're just trying to be nice and telling me i may be giving people the wrong impression.
it's when you try and poke your nose into everything and pretend you're so matured and i should be darn honoured you're talking to me and things that irritates me.
but even then i don't say it do i?
and when you flare up because you think i don't appreciate you're trying to be nice..
well.
what can i say.
you aren't my daddy or anybody.
even if i need someone to take me in hand it's never going to be your turn.
it's not that i don't want you to care as a friend even.
but know your limits.
i hate people trying to pretend they're always right about everything.
you wanna gimme opinions, okay fine, i don't mind, i'll definitely consider your opinions.
but when you try and tell me what to do and expect me to follow through.
well.
!@#$%^&*()
get it?
the main thing i'm really pissed with you about?
whatever happened.
i'm really beginning to believe maybe it was all for show.
maybe i was being fooled.
maybe i was being an idiot.
maybe all those were lies.
that may be why the story you gave everyone else is so twisted.
that's the only reason, the only acceptable reason, that i can come up with for that stupid twisted tale you gave everyone.
it's not that i don't want to believe you told only one person.
but well.
i really don't see how i can trust you anymore.
and anyway you really killed all that motivation to put in any efforts in my texts to you and everything.
think what you did those few months back why don't you.
think about what you said.
i'm not the kind to give and not receive anything in return happily.
i give, and i want to receive at least a little in return.
i don't care how little.
because the point is for my efforts to be recognised.
if you thought i could sustain the motivation while receiving nothing, then hah, you're dumb.
and you like telling me i keep posting about you don't you.
okay.
i'll make that sentence of yours true.
this entire post is to you, about you.
happy?
block me lor.
it just shows your immaturity.
you played me out.
i'm done with you.
or maybe not.
piss me off more, and i'll reveal everything that happened, and expose you as the true asshole you are.
yes i know i'm not revealing every single thing but i'm not that evil so as to tarnish someone's name completely luh can.
okay luh i'm not that evil yet.
i'm still not gonna say everything don't worry.
i won't make you out to be more of the bastard that you already appear to be.
AS ACCORDING TO MY BLOG as you said.
well, fyi, i don't really care what i portray you as.
why?
because i'm not saying anything that's not true.
because i tell nothing but whatever i know.
do i really care whether you block me?
no.
at least, not now.
i don't care what bastards do.
i don't care whether bastards talk to me.
but i do care when bastards try and make use of my weakness and defame me or something.
the way i talk on my blog makes you sound like a jerk?
what about, go reflect whatever you did and ask yourself if i said anything wrong.
you and i know whatever it was that you said, whatever happened, as i said time and again in previous posts.
i'm not gonna reveal every single thing because i don't see what use it'll do to reveal what a true asshole you really are.
and dammit, i was only asking you one tiny little thing.
so i don't understand why exactly you have to come pissing me off.
and for the very last time, i don't see the reason why i have to make an effort talking to you.
because you don't make the fucking effort.
because all you do is destroy that motivation.
so you have no right to tell me i'm not making any effort so i shouldn't expect you to talk nicely.
well, it's not that i'm not making any efforts.
it's because you destroyed the motivation to make any efforts months ago.
i don't give a shit what impression i make on you.
it doesn't matter.
so i shouldn't talk to you?
yup.
i agree.
i know i don't have to talk to you.
but you know what?
i care about all my friends and things, i'm not the kind to let a friendship go without a reason, so i try not to talk to my friends for too long.
i'm not like you.
you bloody egoistic piece of shit.
don't even tell me i started talking about myself first.
because you were the one who, for nothing, came talking about me.
you dare say that, i'll printscreen the entire conversation here.
i swear i'll do that.
i've had enough of you bloody hell.
i was going to stop talking to you BECAUSE I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.
and then you come talking about ME.
thanks ah.
you live to irritate me don't you.
you won't rest till you see that you've driven me to my grave right.
you think you know a lot about me is that it.
fyi i don't tell you everything.
so stop behaving as though you're some stupid important person i need around in my life to speak to and confide everything in.
because i don't need you in my life i never saw you as anyone important.
maybe for that short one week or so but after that?
who do you think you are.
i can tell you very frankly you're just some random person in rvco that i happen to know.
and i don't even really know you.
i'm gonna be harsh and tell you, you aren't even a good friend.
maybe just an acquaintance.
just like how you think i'm not your friend.
you're just some random person i met on a trip who likes pissing me off.
you think im desperate you think im one who makes excuses for a lot of things blablabla FINE I DON'T CARE.
why are you telling me all these?
ch.
i don't even tell you what i think of you because i never saw the need to.
tell me why i should luh.
ch.
you think just because you're older you're better cleverer and things?
well, sadly, being older doesn't mean that way.
much less does it mean you're more matured and things.
in case you've yet to realise, i've had enough of tolerating all your childish nonsense, and those immature blocking me on msn just because im not saying anything that agrees with you.
why do you fucking care what i say and things.
because they do not concern you harlow.
it's not that i don't give a shit that MAYBE you're just trying to be nice and telling me i may be giving people the wrong impression.
it's when you try and poke your nose into everything and pretend you're so matured and i should be darn honoured you're talking to me and things that irritates me.
but even then i don't say it do i?
and when you flare up because you think i don't appreciate you're trying to be nice..
well.
what can i say.
you aren't my daddy or anybody.
even if i need someone to take me in hand it's never going to be your turn.
it's not that i don't want you to care as a friend even.
but know your limits.
i hate people trying to pretend they're always right about everything.
you wanna gimme opinions, okay fine, i don't mind, i'll definitely consider your opinions.
but when you try and tell me what to do and expect me to follow through.
well.
!@#$%^&*()
get it?
the main thing i'm really pissed with you about?
whatever happened.
i'm really beginning to believe maybe it was all for show.
maybe i was being fooled.
maybe i was being an idiot.
maybe all those were lies.
that may be why the story you gave everyone else is so twisted.
that's the only reason, the only acceptable reason, that i can come up with for that stupid twisted tale you gave everyone.
it's not that i don't want to believe you told only one person.
but well.
i really don't see how i can trust you anymore.
and anyway you really killed all that motivation to put in any efforts in my texts to you and everything.
think what you did those few months back why don't you.
think about what you said.
i'm not the kind to give and not receive anything in return happily.
i give, and i want to receive at least a little in return.
i don't care how little.
because the point is for my efforts to be recognised.
if you thought i could sustain the motivation while receiving nothing, then hah, you're dumb.
and you like telling me i keep posting about you don't you.
okay.
i'll make that sentence of yours true.
this entire post is to you, about you.
happy?
block me lor.
it just shows your immaturity.
you played me out.
i'm done with you.
or maybe not.
piss me off more, and i'll reveal everything that happened, and expose you as the true asshole you are.
7:31 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
someone tell me whats wrong with me.
i was actually being upset over i'm not sure what and then cried and fell asleep -.-
it's as though i went to drown my sorrows in alcohol and went drunk and fell asleep -.-
gah!
i think i'm gonna end up getting retained.
hai.
don't know what to do already luh.
see who stays who goes i guess?
don't know :\
irritating.
got a new keyboard.
should be second hand i think.
stupid keyboard.
the design is totally different.
some keys are different.
as in.
the keys' position.
yuk.
and then the backspace button is uber small.
GAH.
yesterday was supposed to have co dinner.
then somehow everyone forgot.
and anyway those who didn't were not in the mood to go.
so.
i thought i was going to buy takeaway home but in the end pam's mum didn't cook her share of dinner so in the end we went lot1's mac for dinner together HAHA!
and saw doris too.
lala~
i was actually being upset over i'm not sure what and then cried and fell asleep -.-
it's as though i went to drown my sorrows in alcohol and went drunk and fell asleep -.-
gah!
i think i'm gonna end up getting retained.
hai.
don't know what to do already luh.
see who stays who goes i guess?
don't know :\
irritating.
got a new keyboard.
should be second hand i think.
stupid keyboard.
the design is totally different.
some keys are different.
as in.
the keys' position.
yuk.
and then the backspace button is uber small.
GAH.
yesterday was supposed to have co dinner.
then somehow everyone forgot.
and anyway those who didn't were not in the mood to go.
so.
i thought i was going to buy takeaway home but in the end pam's mum didn't cook her share of dinner so in the end we went lot1's mac for dinner together HAHA!
and saw doris too.
lala~
some people are obviously oblivious to certain facts that are very apparent to others.
like, are they dumb or what.
-.-
and i guess..
i can't pretend i don't give a shit about anything anymore :\
like, are they dumb or what.
-.-
and i guess..
i can't pretend i don't give a shit about anything anymore :\
{EDIT\}
i'm sorry but..
well..
to me, it's kinda pathetic how people try and deceive themselves about things.
a lot of things..
sorry.
don't do that anymore will you.?
i don't know whether to feel sorry for you or to laugh, really.
sorry.
evil i know.
but..
i'm sorry.
well..
to me, it's kinda pathetic how people try and deceive themselves about things.
a lot of things..
sorry.
don't do that anymore will you.?
i don't know whether to feel sorry for you or to laugh, really.
sorry.
evil i know.
but..
i'm sorry.
5:15 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Friday, October 17, 2008
MY KEYBOARD DIED!
UGH!
okay so i'm blogging in school.
in the comp lab.
where the keyboards are nicer than those you find in the school library or the national library.
gah.
irritating.
i shall go buy a keyboard.
like.
i don't know.
i forgot to get money today (x
so!
hazique said he's an erxin person.
not hazique luh; my ec.
hazique said my ec is an erxin person.
who is extremely sloppy, lazy, emo and cares only about his hair.
and smells a hell lot after pe. (but who doesn't right ><)
and apparently mau was right in the perv comment.
okay.
so.
we shall all try and get over him.
:D:D
which i already am trying to do.
wahaha~
11:47 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
dammit i'm gonna emo now.
bah.
{EDIT\}
i know i said i won't pon school until the term ends.
but well.
different circumstances.
emo now.
maybe tomorrow don't go already.
at least i managed to last the entire year considering i wanted to take a break from school this year?
yup i guess.
gah.
bah.
{EDIT\}
i know i said i won't pon school until the term ends.
but well.
different circumstances.
emo now.
maybe tomorrow don't go already.
at least i managed to last the entire year considering i wanted to take a break from school this year?
yup i guess.
gah.
i swear my existence doesn't matter to anyone.
7:59 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i swear there's something wrong with me.
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GOES AROUND FANTASISING ABOUT NICE RS LIKE THE ONE IN THE NOVEL SHE JUST FINISHED READING.
worse i went trying to analyse my own feelings.
WHILE I'M STILL IN MY DREAMY STATE OF MIND.
sot.
okay.
sidetrack.
i swear i won't pon school until school term ends.
not anymore.
:D
don't ask me why.
i don't feel like telling.
(x
not that there's much time left.
one week.
sot.
results out next week.
next wednesday to be precise.
and i'm so obviously gonna get retained.
whether i want to or not.
dammit.
hai.
and i'm promising myself to try and use less vulgarity.
all jon's fault.
my words have always been clean until he came along.
i swear he's a super bad influence.
OKAY I WANT SHOPPING!
AND JLC!
AND DIMSUM!
DUNCARE!
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND GOES AROUND FANTASISING ABOUT NICE RS LIKE THE ONE IN THE NOVEL SHE JUST FINISHED READING.
worse i went trying to analyse my own feelings.
WHILE I'M STILL IN MY DREAMY STATE OF MIND.
sot.
okay.
sidetrack.
i swear i won't pon school until school term ends.
not anymore.
:D
don't ask me why.
i don't feel like telling.
(x
not that there's much time left.
one week.
sot.
results out next week.
next wednesday to be precise.
and i'm so obviously gonna get retained.
whether i want to or not.
dammit.
hai.
and i'm promising myself to try and use less vulgarity.
all jon's fault.
my words have always been clean until he came along.
i swear he's a super bad influence.
OKAY I WANT SHOPPING!
AND JLC!
AND DIMSUM!
DUNCARE!
6:27 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
read my cousin's blog.
haiyo i swear his posts are more emo than mine can..
emo about his gf.
HIS GF.
they're together arguing all the time.
-.-
what's the point luh :\
so left him a comment on his latest post.
spent 15mins typing everything and then translating it into chinese.
yes so my comment is both in el and cl.
yay!
lol sot.
okay i forgot what i wanted to blog about.
all because i was commenting on my cousin's blog -.-
..
lousy memory.
whee~
haiyo i swear his posts are more emo than mine can..
emo about his gf.
HIS GF.
they're together arguing all the time.
-.-
what's the point luh :\
so left him a comment on his latest post.
spent 15mins typing everything and then translating it into chinese.
yes so my comment is both in el and cl.
yay!
lol sot.
okay i forgot what i wanted to blog about.
all because i was commenting on my cousin's blog -.-
..
lousy memory.
whee~
12:47 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
I AM FINALLY DONE WITH WR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
okay OP slides and I&R up next.
gah.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
okay OP slides and I&R up next.
gah.
11:30 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
dammit.
i was wondering how i got 2 weird red bruises on my knees.
both my knees you know.
goodness.
then i remembered why.
YESTERDAY I WAS AT THE CAFE DURING BREAK.
AND THEN.
I TURNED AROUND AND WHAMMED MY RIGHT KNEE INTO A STUPID CHAIR.
NVM.
I WAS LIKE, OWOWOW HOPPING AROUND, TURNED TO MY LEFT AND..
BANGED MY LEFT KNEE INTO THE OTHER CHAIR.
walauuuuuuuuuuuu
super pain i was hobbling around like i don't know what.
it's not pain now but still
two stupid red bruises.
okay lor.
OKAY BACK TO WORK.
i was wondering how i got 2 weird red bruises on my knees.
both my knees you know.
goodness.
then i remembered why.
YESTERDAY I WAS AT THE CAFE DURING BREAK.
AND THEN.
I TURNED AROUND AND WHAMMED MY RIGHT KNEE INTO A STUPID CHAIR.
NVM.
I WAS LIKE, OWOWOW HOPPING AROUND, TURNED TO MY LEFT AND..
BANGED MY LEFT KNEE INTO THE OTHER CHAIR.
walauuuuuuuuuuuu
super pain i was hobbling around like i don't know what.
it's not pain now but still
two stupid red bruises.
okay lor.
OKAY BACK TO WORK.
8:53 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
harlow.
guess what.
think i will die because of WR.
a lot of stuff to edit.
realised we didn't answer Qn1 under task requirements clearly.
guess we kinda strayed away from the question.
now i think about it, i don't remember when the last time i referred to the question paper was.
ugh.
so.
jinxian was being nice and commented on my group's WR.
now i have a hell lot to edit.
yay.
okay.
at least hopefully our WR can improve now we realise the errors i guess.
super blur luh omg.
so yup.
DON'T SAY I NEVER THANK YOU KAE.
I SHALL GIVE YOU A NICE BIG THANK YOU HERE.
THANK YOU!
:D:D
guess what.
think i will die because of WR.
a lot of stuff to edit.
realised we didn't answer Qn1 under task requirements clearly.
guess we kinda strayed away from the question.
now i think about it, i don't remember when the last time i referred to the question paper was.
ugh.
so.
jinxian was being nice and commented on my group's WR.
now i have a hell lot to edit.
yay.
okay.
at least hopefully our WR can improve now we realise the errors i guess.
super blur luh omg.
so yup.
DON'T SAY I NEVER THANK YOU KAE.
I SHALL GIVE YOU A NICE BIG THANK YOU HERE.
THANK YOU!
:D:D
8:46 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
给我一首歌的时间
作曲：周杰伦 编曲：Micel Lin
雨停下的天空
灰的更加老旧
你说你不懂
为何在这世界上
我晒干了承诺
灰的更冲动
就算这次做错
也只是怕错过
在一起吵
分开了吵
是不是说没有做完的梦最错
雨落的好
我能承受
在最后的出口
再爱过了才用
能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的回忆里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪
让他留在雨天
如果你怀疑的心依然勇气当作鄙夷
被淋湿的天空
灰的更加老旧
你说你不懂为
何在这时牵手
我晒干了承诺
灰的会很冲动
就算这次做错
也只是怕错过
在一起吵
分开了吵
是不是说没有做完的梦最错
雨落的好
我能承受
在最后的出口
再爱过了才有用
能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的回忆里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪
让他留在雨天
如果你怀疑的心依然勇气当作鄙夷
你说我不该 不该在这个时候
说了我爱你
要怎么证明 我没有说谎的力气
请告诉我 暂停算不算放弃
我只有阴天的回忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的回忆里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪
让他留在雨天
如果你怀疑的心依然勇气当作鄙夷
作曲：周杰伦 编曲：Micel Lin
雨停下的天空
灰的更加老旧
你说你不懂
为何在这世界上
我晒干了承诺
灰的更冲动
就算这次做错
也只是怕错过
在一起吵
分开了吵
是不是说没有做完的梦最错
雨落的好
我能承受
在最后的出口
再爱过了才用
能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的回忆里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪
让他留在雨天
如果你怀疑的心依然勇气当作鄙夷
被淋湿的天空
灰的更加老旧
你说你不懂为
何在这时牵手
我晒干了承诺
灰的会很冲动
就算这次做错
也只是怕错过
在一起吵
分开了吵
是不是说没有做完的梦最错
雨落的好
我能承受
在最后的出口
再爱过了才有用
能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的回忆里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪
让他留在雨天
如果你怀疑的心依然勇气当作鄙夷
你说我不该 不该在这个时候
说了我爱你
要怎么证明 我没有说谎的力气
请告诉我 暂停算不算放弃
我只有阴天的回忆
能不能给我一首歌的时间
紧紧的把那拥抱变成永远
在我的回忆里
不用太多失眠
如果你想忘记我也能适应
能不能给我一首歌的时间
把故事听到最后才说再见
你送我的眼泪
让他留在雨天
如果你怀疑的心依然勇气当作鄙夷
6:51 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
okay. where are the alignment buttons.
and the buttons for me to change my font and everything.
what is wrong with blogger.
or is it just my comp.
dammit.
YUK.
or don't tell me sheena's phone got virus and my page is infected with it.
can't be what right.
YUK.
OKAY SO!
i know i said i didn't see my ec.
BUT!
butbutbut!
after i signed out, he appeared.
-.-
WALAU EH HEAVEN LOVES PULLING MY LEG HUH.
okay never mind.
at least i got to see him.
wahaha.
OKAY SOT.
i don't even know if 'm still interested in him.
i think i'm so bloody useless.
why?
BECAUSE!
i was sosososoSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO determined to dao tuanqi and not talk to him today because he pissed me off a hell lot last night.
and then the way pam was ignoring him he appeared quite kelian or something.
and so i didn't have the heart to dao him.
i don't really dao friends you see.
GAH.
what a lousy determination.
YUK.
okay then cca never see ec.
so dumb.
all because i was cooped up in the co room.
okay lor.
win already lor.
don't see don't see lor.
don't care already lor.
don't even know if i'm still interested lor.
YUK.
HMPH.
OH I JUST FOUND ALL THE BUTTONS. -.-
i think i qualify for the dumbest person alive award.
yuk.
and the buttons for me to change my font and everything.
what is wrong with blogger.
or is it just my comp.
dammit.
YUK.
or don't tell me sheena's phone got virus and my page is infected with it.
can't be what right.
YUK.
OKAY SO!
i know i said i didn't see my ec.
BUT!
butbutbut!
after i signed out, he appeared.
-.-
WALAU EH HEAVEN LOVES PULLING MY LEG HUH.
okay never mind.
at least i got to see him.
wahaha.
OKAY SOT.
i don't even know if 'm still interested in him.
i think i'm so bloody useless.
why?
BECAUSE!
i was sosososoSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO determined to dao tuanqi and not talk to him today because he pissed me off a hell lot last night.
and then the way pam was ignoring him he appeared quite kelian or something.
and so i didn't have the heart to dao him.
i don't really dao friends you see.
GAH.
what a lousy determination.
YUK.
okay then cca never see ec.
so dumb.
all because i was cooped up in the co room.
okay lor.
win already lor.
don't see don't see lor.
don't care already lor.
don't even know if i'm still interested lor.
YUK.
HMPH.
OH I JUST FOUND ALL THE BUTTONS. -.-
i think i qualify for the dumbest person alive award.
yuk.
6:38 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
guess what. I'm blogging on sheena's phone! Haha ! Okay sot. And i can't find the align center button -.- and i don't see my ec haha!
Hai. Stupid stomach giving me problems again T.T Feel like puking my entire digestive system out sometimes really :\
Oh well. Super bored. Sheena and hazique doing pw of all things lol.
My blog super emo meh?!
Hai. Stupid stomach giving me problems again T.T Feel like puking my entire digestive system out sometimes really :\
Oh well. Super bored. Sheena and hazique doing pw of all things lol.
My blog super emo meh?!
9:20 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
dammit.
i was super oversensitive today.
exploded at tuanqi and jinxian.
then edmund thinks i overreacted.
gah.
so!
i tried to play heroine and did WR late into the night without dinner.
now im currently suffering from a serious case of gastric pains.
and nobody has any idea what i can do about it.
so now.
i'm eating a bit of porridge.
after one gastric pill i got from the doctor from like, half a year ago.
THANK GOODNESS I FOUND IT MAN.
not really working yet but..
hoping for the best.
:D
okay luh.
nothing much to say also.
can't really think now.
PW all over my head.
next week's last week of school.
getting all our papers back next week.
keeping my fingers crossed that i'll get promoted though..
well..
looking at my attitude this year..
sucks luh hai.
a lot of issues.
that's exactly why i wanted to stay home from school this year.
hai.
well.
at least i know i tried my best for promos..
or maybe..
not my usual best, but the best i can manage with the problem that suddenly popped out on the eve of promos.
hai.
thanks lor.
wish me the best of luck.
(:
i was super oversensitive today.
exploded at tuanqi and jinxian.
then edmund thinks i overreacted.
gah.
so!
i tried to play heroine and did WR late into the night without dinner.
now im currently suffering from a serious case of gastric pains.
and nobody has any idea what i can do about it.
so now.
i'm eating a bit of porridge.
after one gastric pill i got from the doctor from like, half a year ago.
THANK GOODNESS I FOUND IT MAN.
not really working yet but..
hoping for the best.
:D
okay luh.
nothing much to say also.
can't really think now.
PW all over my head.
next week's last week of school.
getting all our papers back next week.
keeping my fingers crossed that i'll get promoted though..
well..
looking at my attitude this year..
sucks luh hai.
a lot of issues.
that's exactly why i wanted to stay home from school this year.
hai.
well.
at least i know i tried my best for promos..
or maybe..
not my usual best, but the best i can manage with the problem that suddenly popped out on the eve of promos.
hai.
thanks lor.
wish me the best of luck.
(:
11:16 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Monday, October 13, 2008
okay if my pw groupmates are reading this i think they're gonna kill me.
so!
i was editing the OP slides and getting real bored and decided to go isc.ro [scrabble, if you have no idea what that is.] for a while. slack a bit and let my eyes rest a while from all those tiny crammed up words.
seriously know. i think i'm beginning to understand why the helpers answering players' questions are being so sarcastic and making random jokes out of the questions asked already.
simple. the questions are pretty dumb.
i mean, really lor.
your opponent's clock suddenly stopped, it's not the system's problem, definitely your comp's right?
but okay luh. if they're newbies and rookies.. well. i guess the poor service the helpers provide and their attitude are not of any help. irritates and pisses the hell out of them only.
but the players do have to understand too that stupid questions irritate the helpers too?
yup.
but okay. for those of us who have been with isc long enough and understand how things work, i guess the answers that the helpers give the people who ask stupid questions brighten our day and makes us laugh. feel bad for those being laughed at though.
oh well.
thats life for you i guess.
first you get laughed at, and then you laugh at others.
though some jokes can be pretty mean.
i shall not expose the funny ones.
seem mean.
okay.
back to OP slides.
toodles!`
so!
i was editing the OP slides and getting real bored and decided to go isc.ro [scrabble, if you have no idea what that is.] for a while. slack a bit and let my eyes rest a while from all those tiny crammed up words.
seriously know. i think i'm beginning to understand why the helpers answering players' questions are being so sarcastic and making random jokes out of the questions asked already.
simple. the questions are pretty dumb.
i mean, really lor.
your opponent's clock suddenly stopped, it's not the system's problem, definitely your comp's right?
but okay luh. if they're newbies and rookies.. well. i guess the poor service the helpers provide and their attitude are not of any help. irritates and pisses the hell out of them only.
but the players do have to understand too that stupid questions irritate the helpers too?
yup.
but okay. for those of us who have been with isc long enough and understand how things work, i guess the answers that the helpers give the people who ask stupid questions brighten our day and makes us laugh. feel bad for those being laughed at though.
oh well.
thats life for you i guess.
first you get laughed at, and then you laugh at others.
though some jokes can be pretty mean.
i shall not expose the funny ones.
seem mean.
okay.
back to OP slides.
toodles!`
11:32 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
so.
i was on Cafe Astrology reading my Natal Chart Report and..
well..
WHY IS IT THAT THEY MADE MY SIGNS AND THINGS SOUND SO BLOODY PERFECT WHEN LIFE FOR ME ISN'T ANYWHERE NEAR PERFECT??
O.O
gah.
and my personality contradicts one another.
-.-
check yours at:
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal
i was on Cafe Astrology reading my Natal Chart Report and..
well..
WHY IS IT THAT THEY MADE MY SIGNS AND THINGS SOUND SO BLOODY PERFECT WHEN LIFE FOR ME ISN'T ANYWHERE NEAR PERFECT??
O.O
gah.
and my personality contradicts one another.
-.-
check yours at:
http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/natal
did i mention i like people who like being around kids?
:D
:D
4:50 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
歌名：稻香 歌手：周杰伦 所属专辑：魔杰座
對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
為什麼人要這麼的脆弱 墮落
請你打開電視看看
多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我們是不是該知足
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有
還記得你說家是唯一的城堡
隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
不要這麼容易就想放棄 就像我說的
追不到的夢想 換個夢不就得了
為自己的人生鮮豔上色
先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色
笑一個吧 功成名就不是目的
讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義
童年的紙飛機 現在終于飛回我手裡
所謂的那快樂 赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了 誰在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了
哦 哦 午後吉它在蟲鳴中更清脆
哦 哦 陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有
還記得你說家是唯一的城堡
隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
還記得你說家是唯一的城堡
隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
為什麼人要這麼的脆弱 墮落
請你打開電視看看
多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我們是不是該知足
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有
還記得你說家是唯一的城堡
隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
不要這麼容易就想放棄 就像我說的
追不到的夢想 換個夢不就得了
為自己的人生鮮豔上色
先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色
笑一個吧 功成名就不是目的
讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義
童年的紙飛機 現在終于飛回我手裡
所謂的那快樂 赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了 誰在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了
哦 哦 午後吉它在蟲鳴中更清脆
哦 哦 陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有
還記得你說家是唯一的城堡
隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
還記得你說家是唯一的城堡
隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好
courtesy of:
haoting.com
haoting.com
4:44 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i swear the easiest way for me to stop having an interest in any particular person is just for mau to inform me she knows that person.
me: i think im interested in xxx. ec luh.
mau: ohh that xxx ah.
me: wth u know him?
mau: ya. not really. he added me on msn.
me: okay i'm not interested in him anymore.
mau: he has a bro in this jc also. quite a perv.
me: okay.
mau: he himself is quite a perv too. i don't think you'll like him.
me: okay.
me [deep in thought]: i'm off him already since you said you know him. (:
previous case:
me: xx *blablabla*
mau: okay i added him on friendster.
me: whatthehell??!
[a few days later]
mau: okay i added him on msn.
me: o.o did he accept?
mau: ya
me [deep in thought]: okay i'm not that interested anymore.
YOU SEE YOU SEE.
WITHOUT FAIL.
my god.
now i'm not only ec-less i have no interest in anyone whatsoever.
and jinxian can hence shut up about me being obsessed with guys or easily having an interest in guys because i'm not i don't and he's the one with a girlfriend and i have less interests throughout my life than anyone in 2 years of theirs except qianning i swear.
:)
me: i think im interested in xxx. ec luh.
mau: ohh that xxx ah.
me: wth u know him?
mau: ya. not really. he added me on msn.
me: okay i'm not interested in him anymore.
mau: he has a bro in this jc also. quite a perv.
me: okay.
mau: he himself is quite a perv too. i don't think you'll like him.
me: okay.
me [deep in thought]: i'm off him already since you said you know him. (:
previous case:
me: xx *blablabla*
mau: okay i added him on friendster.
me: whatthehell??!
[a few days later]
mau: okay i added him on msn.
me: o.o did he accept?
mau: ya
me [deep in thought]: okay i'm not that interested anymore.
YOU SEE YOU SEE.
WITHOUT FAIL.
my god.
now i'm not only ec-less i have no interest in anyone whatsoever.
and jinxian can hence shut up about me being obsessed with guys or easily having an interest in guys because i'm not i don't and he's the one with a girlfriend and i have less interests throughout my life than anyone in 2 years of theirs except qianning i swear.
:)
2:31 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
SO!
wahaha finally time to blog.
so on friday, before j2s' farewell assembly, we saw THIS:
so nice luh!! i mean, they were distributed these balloons so that they can set them airborne LOL!
okay so.
yesterday we went over to my ahma's house to celebrate her birthday! :D:D my cousins were all present and hence! super long never see them already ma so pictures!! :D:D
jaslyn[jingyi] with yifei at ahma's house:
yifei alone:
yijing with my youngest aunt carrying her:
she's super cute luh! she recognises cameras and phones with cams so it's like, she doesn't know your phone can take pictures initially id she hasn't seen it before and hence you have to show her one of her pictures. and then she'll start smiling and gurgling happily whenever you whip out your phone to take her pictures. :D:D
yijing and adam[ziyang]:
adam alone:
this sot little boy. refuses to let me take pictures. keep moving about just when my phone cam clicks. *shakes head* and then he decided to climb into yijing's cradle and be a big baby. 2 years old already leh little boy! lol. oh and for some reason he's extremely fascinated with fans o.o
now. my brother[shaoyuan]:
haha! dodge my cam luh! see! super ugly picture now! :D:D
qixuan and my other brother[shaoheng]:
i hope the world realises that these two retards here were trying to
1) dodge my cam
2) act cool
and then they end up looking extremely stupid. HAHA! :D:D
and next! my da4 jiu4 ma1[大舅妈], qihang, qien, junxing:
the one above, in order from left to right:
junxing, aunt, qi en, qihang.
junxing, yijing(with aunt carrying her), and my er jiu ma[二舅妈] in the background with her maid:
food! (took pictures of them halfway and decided i'm too lazy to take pictures of food every once a while when they serve the dish onto our table. besides the food on both tables were different.)
jaslyn koping my phone to take her own picture and pictures of some other people:
couldn't tahan the way she's taking pictures cuz it reflects the quality of photos taken with my phone wrongly and hence i decided to do a demo for her:
after my demo she took one decent picture of my ahma and her mum(my xiao jiu ma[小舅妈]) with her maid at the side:
and then the evil little girl(believe it or not she's only 4years old) decided to take a picture of me. i avoided the cam in time:
and so she decided to take abnother picture of her maid(i forgot which one is her maid which one is yijing's maid luh lol):
the maid was like nononNO! in the first pic and then she decided to ignore jaslyn and let her take the pic LOL!
and then a pic of her dad(my youngest uncle) carrying adam and one of yifei:
and she pestered me to take one of her and yifei together so there you go, yifei and jaslyn:
yijing with her dad(my 2nd uncle) carrying her:
oh well. thats all i guess.
went shopping with qianning and spent a total of $68.80. not bad ah. my pocket money this month die already. l0l.
wahaha finally time to blog.
so on friday, before j2s' farewell assembly, we saw THIS:
so nice luh!! i mean, they were distributed these balloons so that they can set them airborne LOL!
okay so.
yesterday we went over to my ahma's house to celebrate her birthday! :D:D my cousins were all present and hence! super long never see them already ma so pictures!! :D:D
jaslyn[jingyi] with yifei at ahma's house:
yifei alone:
yijing with my youngest aunt carrying her:
she's super cute luh! she recognises cameras and phones with cams so it's like, she doesn't know your phone can take pictures initially id she hasn't seen it before and hence you have to show her one of her pictures. and then she'll start smiling and gurgling happily whenever you whip out your phone to take her pictures. :D:D
yijing and adam[ziyang]:
adam alone:
this sot little boy. refuses to let me take pictures. keep moving about just when my phone cam clicks. *shakes head* and then he decided to climb into yijing's cradle and be a big baby. 2 years old already leh little boy! lol. oh and for some reason he's extremely fascinated with fans o.o
now. my brother[shaoyuan]:
haha! dodge my cam luh! see! super ugly picture now! :D:D
qixuan and my other brother[shaoheng]:
i hope the world realises that these two retards here were trying to
1) dodge my cam
2) act cool
and then they end up looking extremely stupid. HAHA! :D:D
and next! my da4 jiu4 ma1[大舅妈], qihang, qien, junxing:
the one above, in order from left to right:
junxing, aunt, qi en, qihang.
junxing, yijing(with aunt carrying her), and my er jiu ma[二舅妈] in the background with her maid:
food! (took pictures of them halfway and decided i'm too lazy to take pictures of food every once a while when they serve the dish onto our table. besides the food on both tables were different.)
jaslyn koping my phone to take her own picture and pictures of some other people:
couldn't tahan the way she's taking pictures cuz it reflects the quality of photos taken with my phone wrongly and hence i decided to do a demo for her:
after my demo she took one decent picture of my ahma and her mum(my xiao jiu ma[小舅妈]) with her maid at the side:
and then the evil little girl(believe it or not she's only 4years old) decided to take a picture of me. i avoided the cam in time:
and so she decided to take abnother picture of her maid(i forgot which one is her maid which one is yijing's maid luh lol):
the maid was like nononNO! in the first pic and then she decided to ignore jaslyn and let her take the pic LOL!
and then a pic of her dad(my youngest uncle) carrying adam and one of yifei:
and she pestered me to take one of her and yifei together so there you go, yifei and jaslyn:
yijing with her dad(my 2nd uncle) carrying her:
oh well. thats all i guess.
went shopping with qianning and spent a total of $68.80. not bad ah. my pocket money this month die already. l0l.
10:14 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
HARLOW!!
:D:D
okay SOT!
guanyue full attendance today!
yay!
:D:D
see!
guanyue's the BEST okay!
unlike xianyue.
how many people turned up?
tanbo also!
perc.. can laugh. XDD
tuanqi.. your secrets are safe with me..
WUAHAHAHAHA!! XDD
okay i cannot luanluanlai.
later my secrets leak out then i die.
so!
j2s farewell assembly today.
omg luh mr sas was up there doing a skit and twirling. dancing.
yes.
omg luh i was so shocked can!
think it's because it's super different from during classes.
hmm..
so then!
went out to have kfc [cuz sheena hazique and i saw mrs fadzleen with kfc takeaway and felt like having kfc] before going for pw workshop.
hence!
off we went to lot1, ate, and then, WE HAD A FREE BUS RIDE BACK TO SCHOOL!
HAHA!
cuz the ezlink card tapping machine is SPOILT.
wahaha!
orbi!
raise bus fares luh!
raise somemore lor!
even the machines pity us.
((:
after pw workshop i walked towards LT4 in search of pamela and julia.
nearly bumped into someone while walking towards the staircase leading to the LT.
talking on the phone with julia ma..
and i'm telling you i have lag time.
super lag.
nearly bumped into an ec [didn't see him luh!] but i didn't have any reaction after walking away.. UNTIL JULIA CAME.
then we started rambling about.. uh.. me nearly bumping into an ec and her.. i forgot what (x
then she went for practice with qihui first while i stayed waiting for pamela [that big pomelo] while she went crazy crapping with her friends.
ohOH!
im super proud of myself today!
see nobody taught me dizi right.
but i forgot who told me the fingerings before.
THEN I PLAYED DACHANGJIN AND A BIT OF FENGNIANJI ON G DIAO DIZI TODAY AFTER QIHUI PUT THE DIMO FOR ME!
HAHA!
whee~
and then i was so happy i totally forgot to leave to meet qianning -.-
so i was late.
gah.
then!
shopping was a failure luh!
wanted to buy two cardigans see.
then after i walked inside i found another one i like better.
and then a 3quarter sleeves one.
and i don't know which one to get anymore -.-
IDIOTIC I KNOW.
so i shall go back to Cotton On again someday and get something.
angry.
don't know what to get.
YUK.
:D:D
okay SOT!
guanyue full attendance today!
yay!
:D:D
see!
guanyue's the BEST okay!
unlike xianyue.
how many people turned up?
tanbo also!
perc.. can laugh. XDD
tuanqi.. your secrets are safe with me..
WUAHAHAHAHA!! XDD
okay i cannot luanluanlai.
later my secrets leak out then i die.
so!
j2s farewell assembly today.
omg luh mr sas was up there doing a skit and twirling. dancing.
yes.
omg luh i was so shocked can!
think it's because it's super different from during classes.
hmm..
so then!
went out to have kfc [cuz sheena hazique and i saw mrs fadzleen with kfc takeaway and felt like having kfc] before going for pw workshop.
hence!
off we went to lot1, ate, and then, WE HAD A FREE BUS RIDE BACK TO SCHOOL!
HAHA!
cuz the ezlink card tapping machine is SPOILT.
wahaha!
orbi!
raise bus fares luh!
raise somemore lor!
even the machines pity us.
((:
after pw workshop i walked towards LT4 in search of pamela and julia.
nearly bumped into someone while walking towards the staircase leading to the LT.
talking on the phone with julia ma..
and i'm telling you i have lag time.
super lag.
nearly bumped into an ec [didn't see him luh!] but i didn't have any reaction after walking away.. UNTIL JULIA CAME.
then we started rambling about.. uh.. me nearly bumping into an ec and her.. i forgot what (x
then she went for practice with qihui first while i stayed waiting for pamela [that big pomelo] while she went crazy crapping with her friends.
ohOH!
im super proud of myself today!
see nobody taught me dizi right.
but i forgot who told me the fingerings before.
THEN I PLAYED DACHANGJIN AND A BIT OF FENGNIANJI ON G DIAO DIZI TODAY AFTER QIHUI PUT THE DIMO FOR ME!
HAHA!
whee~
and then i was so happy i totally forgot to leave to meet qianning -.-
so i was late.
gah.
then!
shopping was a failure luh!
wanted to buy two cardigans see.
then after i walked inside i found another one i like better.
and then a 3quarter sleeves one.
and i don't know which one to get anymore -.-
IDIOTIC I KNOW.
so i shall go back to Cotton On again someday and get something.
angry.
don't know what to get.
YUK.
<3
3:15 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Friday, October 10, 2008
okay now, before i begin all these shit,
sidenote [ edmund tuanqi wilson]: CHEER UP! go ahead and emo to me if you need to - my ears are always there ready, waiting to listen. (:
i know i kept saying i'll break down soon.
but i haven't.
not sure if i'm happy about it.
because i'm >100% sure it's overflowing like crap in there.
and i swear nobody bloody understands.
the WWW just plain misunderstands me, then insist they're right about what they think i'm going through and everything, then end up making me more upset.
which i can only react to by being angry with these people.
and then i can't blow up at them either.
cuz i don't have the guts to blow up at friends.
and then when i can't tahan and finally do
well
we all know what happens.
OI.
dammit you think it's FUN?
i swear people don't think i have feelings you know.
like two people i can mention.
no.
5.
dammit.
fuck you luh.
i don't bloody talk to you cuz i'm trying to be irritating.
i don't bloody talk to you for the mere fun of it.
i bloody talk to people because I CAN'T STAND NOT TALKING TO FRIENDS.
IT WILL FEEL AS THOUGH MY FRIENDS AND I ARE DISTANCING FROM EACH OTHER.
DAMMIT DOES ANY ONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND?
I CAN TELL YOU I'M FUCKING SURE NOBODY DOES.
NOBODY BLOODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT EXACTLY I'M GOING THROUGH.
WHEN I TELL YOU YOU BLOW UP AT ME AND SAY YOU DON'T CARE.
WHEN I DON'T AND END UP NEARLY BREAKING DOWN YOU EFFING TELL ME I TELL YOU NOTHING I DESERVE IT.
BLOODY HELL MAKE UP YOUR MIND WILL YOU.
YOIU WANT ME TO TELL YOU, I TELL YOU, AND THEN YOU BLAST OFF AT ME BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU EVERYTHING LIKE YOU WANT ME TO.
AND THEN WHEN I GROW WARY AND DON'T KEEP TELLING YOU EVERY SINGLE THING YOU BLOW UP AT ME TOO.
WHATTHEFUCK DO YOU WANT EXACTLY.
IT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO BE ME.
AND IT'S JUST BEING ME YOU KNOW.
ME.
CHONGZHIYU.
ME.
WHATTHEHELL.
AND I'M TRYING TO ACCOMMODATE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW.
YOU THINK IT'S SO EASY REMEMBERING EVERY TASTE AND PREFERENCE OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS IT.
WHATTHEHELL.
I TRY MY BEST,
ANYBODY APPRECIATES IT?
NO.
BLOODY NO.
AND THEN WHEN I LET MYSELF SLACKEN A BIT I GET TOLD OFF.
WALAU.
OI.
WHATTHEHELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO DO EXACTLY TELL ME PROPERLY WILL YOU.
FUCK I TRIED MY BEST.
I WANNA BE THERE FOR PEOPLE.
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE.
BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO EXPRESS MYSELF RIGHT.
AND THEN?
PEOPLE TELL ME I'M SUPER COLD AND UNFRIENDLY.
EH THANKS AH.
WHO ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP TELLING ME TO GO AWAY WHEN I TRY AND TALK NICELY ABOUT THINGS?
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I TELL YOU HEY LETS TALK WHAT DO YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT.
HM?
DAMMIT.
everything's bloody overflowing yet i still have NO IDEA ABSOLUTELY WHATSOEVER AS TO HOW EXACTLY I'M SUPPOSED TO GO ABOUT EXPRESSING MYSELF.
THANKS WOR.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CRY ANYMORE OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD PROPER CRY FOR SUPER LONG ALREADY YOU KNOW.
EVERYTIME I THOUGHT HEY MY TEARS ARE FINALLY FLOWING I WHOOP!
BUT THESE TEARS LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE.
WHERE ARE THE GOOD OLD TIMES WHERE I CAN JUST CRY AND GET OVER EVERYTHING AND GO BACK TO BEING THE HAPPY PERSON I AM?
I DON'T FREAKING KNOW HOW TO CRY.
THAT'S WORSE THAN A BABY YOU UNDERSTAND??!
DON'T TELL ME I'M A COWARD I'M A SCAREDY CAT.
I'M HURT ENOUGH.
I JUST DON'T WANT MYSELF HURT.
DON'T =_= ME.
I JUST DON'T WANT MYSELF HURT SO I TRY GETTING OVER EVERYTHING I SUSPECT WILL HURT ME AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
ONE EXAMPLE?
JONATHANHOCHINKIAT.
TWO?
TANJINXIAN.
DAMMIT GO AHEAD AND COMPLAIN, SPIN STORIES AND LIE LUH.
THE REASON I'M REVEALING NONE OF THOSE SHIT THAT HAPPENED IS BECAUSE I'M BLOODY FED UP WITH YOU OKAY.
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED ANYMORE.
YOU WANT ME TO TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING I CAN.
DON'T BLOODY FORCE ME TO.
DON'T DRIVE ME TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE TO DO THAT.
JUST TO BLOODY GET IT OFF MY CHEST.
i know what you might say.
things like oh i'm thinking too much and things.
yup sure, maybe.
but we all know why i thought the way i did.
you bloody know it.
you and i know it.
you and i know what you said.
what exactly you said.
every single thing you said.
this time i'm not even going to say things like yala my fault for thinking too much and whatever.
not now.
not this post.
this one is for me to be selfish.
you can tag whatever you want, say whatever you want, manipulate people into thinking whatever you want them to believe, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
i'm darn tired.
WHATTHEHELL.
I'M GETTING SERIOUSLY OVERSENSITIVE I BLOODY REALISE IT OKAY.
ASK TUANQI IF YOU DOUBT ME.
ONE WORD AND I GO ARE YOU ANGRY.
EH FK YOU THINK I ENJOY IT AH.
I DON'T.
I HATE MY EMO SELF.
I WANNA GET OUT OF IT.
BUT NOBODY'S GIVING ME AN EASY TIME.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANNA VENT YOUR ANGER ON ME EMO TO ME WHATEVER!
IN FACT I LIKE IT.
BECAUSE I FEEL THAT PEOPLE DO THAT ONLY WHEN THEY TAKE ME AS A REAL FRIEND.
BUT DON'T STOP THERE WILL YOU?
DON'T JUST RUN AWAY AND DITCH ME AFTER YOU'RE HAPPY LUH.
I FEEL LIKE A SOFT TOY.
BLOODY HELL.
I'M NOT BLOODY SELF-PITYING OKAY.
I JUST HATE PEOPLE TREATING ME WORSE THAN POO.
even my students are better than a lot of people i know.
and goddammit they're only between 7 to 11.
you think it's easy talking to everyone?
it's not okay.
especially not after you haven't been talking to someone for a long period of time and when you aren't that close with somebody.
okay luh but these kinda people i have no problems with.
surprisingly it's with the closer friends that i'm having so much problems with.
seriously? stop bloody taking advantage of me.
tyvm.
starbucks, anyone?
bla i'm seriously gonna try blogging in proper english language the way greg is.
at this rate i bet my standard will drop and go worse than it already is.
sidenote [ edmund tuanqi wilson]: CHEER UP! go ahead and emo to me if you need to - my ears are always there ready, waiting to listen. (:
i know i kept saying i'll break down soon.
but i haven't.
not sure if i'm happy about it.
because i'm >100% sure it's overflowing like crap in there.
and i swear nobody bloody understands.
the WWW just plain misunderstands me, then insist they're right about what they think i'm going through and everything, then end up making me more upset.
which i can only react to by being angry with these people.
and then i can't blow up at them either.
cuz i don't have the guts to blow up at friends.
and then when i can't tahan and finally do
well
we all know what happens.
OI.
dammit you think it's FUN?
i swear people don't think i have feelings you know.
like two people i can mention.
no.
5.
dammit.
fuck you luh.
i don't bloody talk to you cuz i'm trying to be irritating.
i don't bloody talk to you for the mere fun of it.
i bloody talk to people because I CAN'T STAND NOT TALKING TO FRIENDS.
IT WILL FEEL AS THOUGH MY FRIENDS AND I ARE DISTANCING FROM EACH OTHER.
DAMMIT DOES ANY ONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND?
I CAN TELL YOU I'M FUCKING SURE NOBODY DOES.
NOBODY BLOODY UNDERSTANDS WHAT EXACTLY I'M GOING THROUGH.
WHEN I TELL YOU YOU BLOW UP AT ME AND SAY YOU DON'T CARE.
WHEN I DON'T AND END UP NEARLY BREAKING DOWN YOU EFFING TELL ME I TELL YOU NOTHING I DESERVE IT.
BLOODY HELL MAKE UP YOUR MIND WILL YOU.
YOIU WANT ME TO TELL YOU, I TELL YOU, AND THEN YOU BLAST OFF AT ME BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU EVERYTHING LIKE YOU WANT ME TO.
AND THEN WHEN I GROW WARY AND DON'T KEEP TELLING YOU EVERY SINGLE THING YOU BLOW UP AT ME TOO.
WHATTHEFUCK DO YOU WANT EXACTLY.
IT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO BE ME.
AND IT'S JUST BEING ME YOU KNOW.
ME.
CHONGZHIYU.
ME.
WHATTHEHELL.
AND I'M TRYING TO ACCOMMODATE TO EVERY SINGLE PERSON I KNOW.
YOU THINK IT'S SO EASY REMEMBERING EVERY TASTE AND PREFERENCE OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS IT.
WHATTHEHELL.
I TRY MY BEST,
ANYBODY APPRECIATES IT?
NO.
BLOODY NO.
AND THEN WHEN I LET MYSELF SLACKEN A BIT I GET TOLD OFF.
WALAU.
OI.
WHATTHEHELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO DO EXACTLY TELL ME PROPERLY WILL YOU.
FUCK I TRIED MY BEST.
I WANNA BE THERE FOR PEOPLE.
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE THERE.
BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO EXPRESS MYSELF RIGHT.
AND THEN?
PEOPLE TELL ME I'M SUPER COLD AND UNFRIENDLY.
EH THANKS AH.
WHO ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP TELLING ME TO GO AWAY WHEN I TRY AND TALK NICELY ABOUT THINGS?
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I TELL YOU HEY LETS TALK WHAT DO YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT.
HM?
DAMMIT.
everything's bloody overflowing yet i still have NO IDEA ABSOLUTELY WHATSOEVER AS TO HOW EXACTLY I'M SUPPOSED TO GO ABOUT EXPRESSING MYSELF.
THANKS WOR.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CRY ANYMORE OKAY.
I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVEN'T HAD A GOOD PROPER CRY FOR SUPER LONG ALREADY YOU KNOW.
EVERYTIME I THOUGHT HEY MY TEARS ARE FINALLY FLOWING I WHOOP!
BUT THESE TEARS LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE.
WHERE ARE THE GOOD OLD TIMES WHERE I CAN JUST CRY AND GET OVER EVERYTHING AND GO BACK TO BEING THE HAPPY PERSON I AM?
I DON'T FREAKING KNOW HOW TO CRY.
THAT'S WORSE THAN A BABY YOU UNDERSTAND??!
DON'T TELL ME I'M A COWARD I'M A SCAREDY CAT.
I'M HURT ENOUGH.
I JUST DON'T WANT MYSELF HURT.
DON'T =_= ME.
I JUST DON'T WANT MYSELF HURT SO I TRY GETTING OVER EVERYTHING I SUSPECT WILL HURT ME AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.
ONE EXAMPLE?
JONATHANHOCHINKIAT.
TWO?
TANJINXIAN.
DAMMIT GO AHEAD AND COMPLAIN, SPIN STORIES AND LIE LUH.
THE REASON I'M REVEALING NONE OF THOSE SHIT THAT HAPPENED IS BECAUSE I'M BLOODY FED UP WITH YOU OKAY.
I CAN'T BE BOTHERED ANYMORE.
YOU WANT ME TO TELL EVERYONE EVERYTHING I CAN.
DON'T BLOODY FORCE ME TO.
DON'T DRIVE ME TO THE POINT WHERE I HAVE TO DO THAT.
JUST TO BLOODY GET IT OFF MY CHEST.
i know what you might say.
things like oh i'm thinking too much and things.
yup sure, maybe.
but we all know why i thought the way i did.
you bloody know it.
you and i know it.
you and i know what you said.
what exactly you said.
every single thing you said.
this time i'm not even going to say things like yala my fault for thinking too much and whatever.
not now.
not this post.
this one is for me to be selfish.
you can tag whatever you want, say whatever you want, manipulate people into thinking whatever you want them to believe, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT.
i'm darn tired.
WHATTHEHELL.
I'M GETTING SERIOUSLY OVERSENSITIVE I BLOODY REALISE IT OKAY.
ASK TUANQI IF YOU DOUBT ME.
ONE WORD AND I GO ARE YOU ANGRY.
EH FK YOU THINK I ENJOY IT AH.
I DON'T.
I HATE MY EMO SELF.
I WANNA GET OUT OF IT.
BUT NOBODY'S GIVING ME AN EASY TIME.
I DON'T CARE IF YOU WANNA VENT YOUR ANGER ON ME EMO TO ME WHATEVER!
IN FACT I LIKE IT.
BECAUSE I FEEL THAT PEOPLE DO THAT ONLY WHEN THEY TAKE ME AS A REAL FRIEND.
BUT DON'T STOP THERE WILL YOU?
DON'T JUST RUN AWAY AND DITCH ME AFTER YOU'RE HAPPY LUH.
I FEEL LIKE A SOFT TOY.
BLOODY HELL.
I'M NOT BLOODY SELF-PITYING OKAY.
I JUST HATE PEOPLE TREATING ME WORSE THAN POO.
even my students are better than a lot of people i know.
and goddammit they're only between 7 to 11.
you think it's easy talking to everyone?
it's not okay.
especially not after you haven't been talking to someone for a long period of time and when you aren't that close with somebody.
okay luh but these kinda people i have no problems with.
surprisingly it's with the closer friends that i'm having so much problems with.
seriously? stop bloody taking advantage of me.
tyvm.
starbucks, anyone?
bla i'm seriously gonna try blogging in proper english language the way greg is.
at this rate i bet my standard will drop and go worse than it already is.
12:51 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
