Tuesday, December 30, 2008
man i realise i threw my math out the window.
i should really just go poly.
urgh.
i should really just go poly.
urgh.
3:09 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
okay i realise qianning's blog is suddenly more alive than mine.
not a good sign.
(x
so.
she had like.. 3 posts since the last time i went there?
yup.
and the first post since i last went there..
no good girl.
don't become emo the way i was.
cuz that emo me was damn kiampah.
so if you wanna become kiampah like me you can go ahead and emo (:
if not then stop emo-ing. ((:
i told you already what, any day you wanna change course i'll change with you.
whatever your decision is i'm behind you all the way yep (:
okay what am i saying i'm not sure what it is i'm really after either -.-
eh wait actually i'm pretty sure already i just need to find out how i'm supposed to go about fulfilling it ((:
or wait, am i daydreaming and wanting something far beyond reach.?
where there's a will there's a way..
hmm..
i don't even know if i can really do it.
i don't even know if i have the capability.
bla.
not a good sign.
(x
so.
she had like.. 3 posts since the last time i went there?
yup.
and the first post since i last went there..
no good girl.
don't become emo the way i was.
cuz that emo me was damn kiampah.
so if you wanna become kiampah like me you can go ahead and emo (:
if not then stop emo-ing. ((:
i told you already what, any day you wanna change course i'll change with you.
whatever your decision is i'm behind you all the way yep (:
okay what am i saying i'm not sure what it is i'm really after either -.-
eh wait actually i'm pretty sure already i just need to find out how i'm supposed to go about fulfilling it ((:
or wait, am i daydreaming and wanting something far beyond reach.?
where there's a will there's a way..
hmm..
i don't even know if i can really do it.
i don't even know if i have the capability.
bla.
12:28 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
so.
my predictions for next year:
hmm. the very first part. sounds familiar?
oh and i've figured out exactly what i wanna do.
just..
i really really don't know how i should go about doing it.
hai.
my predictions for next year:
異性運：你在男生眼裡是那種浪漫多情的類型，充滿女人味的你在男生眼裡完全就是一個完美的人，而要得到你的芳心卻又是那麼遙不可及，驕傲如公主的你越是吊男孩子們的胃口就越是令他們為你著魔甚至抓狂呢！
同性運：在你的身邊老是有那麼幾朵姐妹花心甘情願地當你的後援團，你可不要以為她們是粉忠心的死黨喲！說不定在你的追求者裡正好有她們暗戀的對象，而她們跟你好只是想探聽你的虛實或想捕獲幾條漏網之魚喲！
學業運：你的其他功課不一定好，但語文一定是拿手的，從小就躲在廁所裡看愛情小說的你，深深嚮往著小說裡動人的邂逅場面，所以，你在學習上的心思早跑到九霄雲外去啦！將來的你較適合念旅遊或酒店管理學校。
天使面 VS 魔鬼心
天使面：你是多情天使的化身，哪個男孩子因為運動受傷，你就會放下高傲的架子，主動幫他包紮傷口、噓寒問暖，事情過去之後，你卻像什麼都沒發生過一樣，你越是這樣越是勾得人家心癢癢甚至浮想聯翩呢！
hmm. the very first part. sounds familiar?
oh and i've figured out exactly what i wanna do.
just..
i really really don't know how i should go about doing it.
hai.
1:08 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
you know..
i do have a dream.
i don't know what to do about it
i don't know how to even begin going after it
i don't have the guts to pursue it
i even lack the courage to...
you know..
no you don't
gah.
and hence i can't even ask for opinions
for comments
how i should improve in that area
blablabla..
gah i'm just a joke am i not
yup i suck.
yay.
hah.
2:30 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Friday, December 19, 2008
i am NOT devoid of feelings.
so don't push me over the edge, alright?
thankyou.
(:
thankyou.
(:
12:51 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
i'm officially done with him.
damn angry.
whatthehell he thinks he's damn good is it?
well here's news: he isn't.
i should have done in the morning what i did 5mins before practice ended.
i'm done being wronged all the time, i'm done being blamed on for nothing i did, for things that are your own fault, for your going off the damned beat, for trying to guide my fellow section mates in following your effed up beat.
IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR TEMPER, THEN DON'T TEACH US LUH. ALL OF US HAVE A TEMPER, ALL OF US HAVE A LIMIT TO OUR PATIENCE, IT'S NOT JUST YOU.
i can be very sure of something: you never taught me scene of jiangnan properly, i figured everything out myself, i practiced myself. i never had your guidance for it, except when you feel like it and wanna check my yinzhun.
oh and this afternoon weili didn't understand what exactly you were saying. i had to figure his score out for him and i. whatever you say was never really clear. go ahead and throw your temper why don't you. impatient thing. it's not our fault you're never really clear in things that you say. i can tell you this damn confidently: w improved because he really put in effort. not because of you. you just provided us with the appropriate scores and notes. skills-wise it's all ourselves. yup, maybe that's the way it has always supposed to be, but well, i've never gained a single thing from all that time i spent with you. apart from when i sit down and practice myself, the rest of the time were but a waste of time. i've tolerated you for a few months, i'm not gonna go on doing it anymore. i'm more set on having myself happy than be responsible enough to tolerate everything through syf. especially when i really think there's no hope. (:
i've had enough of you, i'm done with you. really.
you just don't like us right.
you're nice only when you need us to do something for you isn't that so.
you were nice only during sectionals when i was able to help you tell q and w what you wanted isn't it.
you were nice only when you said out a few notes for w to add in his score and i translated them into numbers to w for you wasn't it.
well. i don't need all of that.
i'm really really done with you.
you can think about what to do with suona yourself.
i don't wanna play for pjco in syf.
i'm not gonna play for pjco in syf.
not with such an unreasonable i-think-i-am-so-high-and-mighty person like you.
我受够了!
damn angry.
whatthehell he thinks he's damn good is it?
well here's news: he isn't.
i should have done in the morning what i did 5mins before practice ended.
i'm done being wronged all the time, i'm done being blamed on for nothing i did, for things that are your own fault, for your going off the damned beat, for trying to guide my fellow section mates in following your effed up beat.
IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR TEMPER, THEN DON'T TEACH US LUH. ALL OF US HAVE A TEMPER, ALL OF US HAVE A LIMIT TO OUR PATIENCE, IT'S NOT JUST YOU.
i can be very sure of something: you never taught me scene of jiangnan properly, i figured everything out myself, i practiced myself. i never had your guidance for it, except when you feel like it and wanna check my yinzhun.
oh and this afternoon weili didn't understand what exactly you were saying. i had to figure his score out for him and i. whatever you say was never really clear. go ahead and throw your temper why don't you. impatient thing. it's not our fault you're never really clear in things that you say. i can tell you this damn confidently: w improved because he really put in effort. not because of you. you just provided us with the appropriate scores and notes. skills-wise it's all ourselves. yup, maybe that's the way it has always supposed to be, but well, i've never gained a single thing from all that time i spent with you. apart from when i sit down and practice myself, the rest of the time were but a waste of time. i've tolerated you for a few months, i'm not gonna go on doing it anymore. i'm more set on having myself happy than be responsible enough to tolerate everything through syf. especially when i really think there's no hope. (:
i've had enough of you, i'm done with you. really.
you just don't like us right.
you're nice only when you need us to do something for you isn't that so.
you were nice only during sectionals when i was able to help you tell q and w what you wanted isn't it.
you were nice only when you said out a few notes for w to add in his score and i translated them into numbers to w for you wasn't it.
well. i don't need all of that.
i'm really really done with you.
you can think about what to do with suona yourself.
i don't wanna play for pjco in syf.
i'm not gonna play for pjco in syf.
not with such an unreasonable i-think-i-am-so-high-and-mighty person like you.
我受够了!
i'm nice to people who are nice to me.
i can be super nice to strangers i don't know.
i just can't stand people who i think is making use of me.
i can be super nice to strangers i don't know.
i just can't stand people who i think is making use of me.
6:38 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
people who you know
who you then drifted apart from
who you haven't talked to for a long time
who you find awkward to start a conversation with after that long while
who you don't know what to talk to him/her about
do you call them friends.?
acquaintances..
do we really have to differentiate so much.?
who you then drifted apart from
who you haven't talked to for a long time
who you find awkward to start a conversation with after that long while
who you don't know what to talk to him/her about
do you call them friends.?
acquaintances..
do we really have to differentiate so much.?
i'm really trying desperately to keep every one of my friends
even those from PAE
seniors
and those way back from primary school
even those from PAE
seniors
and those way back from primary school
6:41 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
i know it's not year end yet it might be a tad too early for me to do a review on the entire year but still :\
let's begin with 010108.
things were shaky.
damn shaky.
and then i made a stupid mistake and ended up in TPJC for PAE.
somehow i managed to convince myself maybe going TPJC is just what i needed, forcing myself to have to open up to everyone, to a whole new school where i know literally nobody at all.
first day of orientation i ponned.
didn't plan it.
texted jon the entire journey to school, telling him what a nerve wreck i was.
my bus stopped at meridian jc and i thought, i must be on the wrong bus so i alighted and checked the directory again.
dang it's just a few more stops away.
checked my watch.
die.
late for sure.
chickened out and called my mum, told her i was going home no matter what she says.
texted and told jon i was ponning school afterall.
the school called.
duh i feigned ill.
second day i told myself i HAVE to face TPJC sooner or later i might as well just go now.
dressed up, went to school.
texted jon again and ranted about my nervousness.
finally couldn't take it and told my dad to just drive me to school.
that way i couldn't escape.
and when i arrived, seeing everyone knowing at least somebody there, i felt super lonely.
stood one corner like a statue, texting and telling jon how lonely i felt.
then the bell finally went and i followed the crowd to the hall.
sat at my OG.
eleanor was there, right beside me.
of course i didn't know who she was.
guess after that first day she managed to open up and hence she was the very first to talk to me, handing me the programme list for the rest of the orientation, trying to get me to open up and introducing me to everyone else.
the entire school looked at me like i was from outer space because i was literally the first and last rvian to ever appear in TPJC.
and then i came to know beatrice.
and a few others.
then we started exchanging subject combis we had in mind.
2 days later eleanor and i ended up in the same class.
she led me around, opening up to everyone and talking real quickly, the way everyone talked to everyone else real quickly too.
soon i was dubbed the rv girl.
the girl from rv.
jude and greg were the only guys in class, greg became the class chairperson.
managed to mix in pretty okay, but it still felt a bit like oil and water with the rest of them.
except greg eleanor yuki joanne geraldine and szu yu i guess.
and then one day, everything suddenly came apart between jon and i.
kinda expected i guess.
just that i was still trying to adjust to TPJC, so :\
talking to greg and eleanor one day though and then they both confided something to me.
still not revealing what it is though.
hey i'm a good friend and confidante alright (:
2 weeks later i couldn't take the emotional stress anymore and stayed from school.
3 days later i realise i really missed everyone in school.
couldn't bring myself back to face them though.
regret.
spent my days holed up in my room crying trying to get myself to stand up again.
hard.
darn angry with myself for trusting him too much.
JAE started.
damn tempted to take a year off.
of course nobody allowed me to.
so went to school, damn weary, trying to put on a happy front.
met mau.
orientation was never something i enjoyed, so it was the usual for me.
then i got sorted into class, and i really knew nobody.
jiali was the first to talk to me, and then she pulled me along and cheryl joined the both of us.
along came huiqi into the clique.
started thinking maybe life wasn't too bad afterall.
pushed all unhappiness to one corner of my mind and tried to stay upbeat.
this kinda of facade will never last long i guess, as the stress from lit term paper struck me with a sudden blow in my stomach, and i took it out on cheryl, then totally breaking down in the girls' toilet at the grandstand, breaking down mainly because of what i pushed only to the back of my mind.
and then everything between the 4 of us fell apart too.
sheena came along and tried to tug me out of my emotional state.
forced myself to open up a little, telling myself there's still hope, and talked to hazique, for he appeared to be a close friend of sheena.
3 of us got along fine and 2 months later, we were like a clique already.
the 3rd month cheryl huiqi and i were talking, but not as close as before i guess (?), but one fine day during lunch jiali finally asked me that question, " can we go back to what we were, way back before, and forget everything?"
i smiled and nodded.
inside me i was thinking, what about yifang? she's with them now. what will she think. and i have hazique and sheena now. i can't force them together can i? and things with jiali and the rest always felt like.. something out of my reach. i tried to talk to hazique and sheena + jiali cheryl and huiqi.
i tried to make things work between all of us.
i guess now i see it, i was trying to force the zhiyu i am when im with sheena and hazique together with the zhiyu i am when im with jiali cheryl and huiqi.
absurd.
and then there was yifang.
uncomfy.
things weren't the same, no matter how much all of us tried to make it the same.
and then gradually i shifted towards sheena and hazique.
i didn't want anymore changes, and i didn't want to spoil things between them and yifang.
sheena and hazique are damn good friends to be with.
just like jiali cheryl and huiqi are.
it was tough i'll admit.
but whenever i think of yifang with them, i ask myself, will i ever fit in again?
i realise, no, not really.
it's hard.
not because of cheryl and huiqi, but because somehow, during that little break jiali and i had between us, everything just drifted apart, we barely saw eye to eye anymore, there were more.. i don't know.
it was harder not to argue than before.
i don't know why.
it upsets me.
drifted back to sheena and hazique.
remained friends with cheryl and huiqi, drifting from jiali.
and then meanwhile, after that breakdown in the washroom, i met edmund, on viwawa (ya wtf i know). he knew who jon was, i found myself able to spill everything to him, he was able to offer comforting words, so i remained in contact with him, giving each other advice (fine mostly him giving me advice, can? tsk.) and bla.
i thought i walked out of things between jon and i.
penang trip came jinxian.
fooled me like i was an idiot.
actually, i AM an idiot.
i was a big fool that time when he met me.
i won't deny, penang was an excuse for me to run away from things in SG for a while, so i could take a breather.
i added everyone i knew from penang trip when i got home, and then he came and fooled me like i was nothing.
yup, i WAS nothing.
nice lesson learnt anyway.
gave friends around me a headache sinking into that stupid emotional state again.
promos died, all thanks to one person, he knows who he is.
drifted back to that.. history.. from p6 again.
and came out of it.
a call from someone did the job, you know who you are, thank you (:
attended CABIN camp and then tinklefriend camp, both as camp facilitators.
met mingyao, albin, guanning.
all of who became good friends.
learnt to open up to others, learnt to lead a group in camp, learnt to handle different situations, more confident in quite a few things now, thanks to hazique for organising CABIN CIP for us. helped me a lot (:
suddenly became emo over jon again, no idea why.
just at that very moment chubby (the hamster that just died) fell really sick.
hurt me, was unfair to me..
chubby fell more ill..
and then died that one fateful day.
and then i suddenly remembered my promise to myself, that i'll really wipe jon from my memory, remove him from everywhere, every area of my life.
had no courage to do it.
couldn't bear to.
hazique said i should.
talked sense into me.
and then edmund too said people like him don't deserve the niceness we treat them with.
both of them said i'll not regret extricating him form my life.
both said i'll feel better.
and so i did it.
all that's left now are physical gifts from him.
soft toys etc.
but i already feel much better.
i feel.. free.
sure, i slackened in school work because of that emotional stress i've been under, i've been retained, i think i should give myself another chance.
but i really don't regret not giving into that temptation of staying home from school the entire year.
if i did, who knows if i'd be free now.
if i did, i wouldn't have gained all these new friends.
if i did, there'd be things i wouldn't have learnt.
i'd still be that useless weakling.
and i wouldn't know to treasure something, i wouldn't know not to force things and push them further when i'm not sure of anything..
i changed from the initial INFP that i was, to INFJ, felt damn weird and hence tried to understand myself further, the current me, got used to it, and then became an ISFJ, which i then tried again to get used to. and then i became the INFP i once was, again, right after i removed him from my life.
one big round.
and i remembered, my S N P and J have always been mixed up.
cuz they're all 50:50 parts of me.
and anyway they're all just a general gauge of my personality, nothing too customised or to be trusted in 101%.
oh okay only i know what i'm talking about.
-.-
let's begin with 010108.
things were shaky.
damn shaky.
and then i made a stupid mistake and ended up in TPJC for PAE.
somehow i managed to convince myself maybe going TPJC is just what i needed, forcing myself to have to open up to everyone, to a whole new school where i know literally nobody at all.
first day of orientation i ponned.
didn't plan it.
texted jon the entire journey to school, telling him what a nerve wreck i was.
my bus stopped at meridian jc and i thought, i must be on the wrong bus so i alighted and checked the directory again.
dang it's just a few more stops away.
checked my watch.
die.
late for sure.
chickened out and called my mum, told her i was going home no matter what she says.
texted and told jon i was ponning school afterall.
the school called.
duh i feigned ill.
second day i told myself i HAVE to face TPJC sooner or later i might as well just go now.
dressed up, went to school.
texted jon again and ranted about my nervousness.
finally couldn't take it and told my dad to just drive me to school.
that way i couldn't escape.
and when i arrived, seeing everyone knowing at least somebody there, i felt super lonely.
stood one corner like a statue, texting and telling jon how lonely i felt.
then the bell finally went and i followed the crowd to the hall.
sat at my OG.
eleanor was there, right beside me.
of course i didn't know who she was.
guess after that first day she managed to open up and hence she was the very first to talk to me, handing me the programme list for the rest of the orientation, trying to get me to open up and introducing me to everyone else.
the entire school looked at me like i was from outer space because i was literally the first and last rvian to ever appear in TPJC.
and then i came to know beatrice.
and a few others.
then we started exchanging subject combis we had in mind.
2 days later eleanor and i ended up in the same class.
she led me around, opening up to everyone and talking real quickly, the way everyone talked to everyone else real quickly too.
soon i was dubbed the rv girl.
the girl from rv.
jude and greg were the only guys in class, greg became the class chairperson.
managed to mix in pretty okay, but it still felt a bit like oil and water with the rest of them.
except greg eleanor yuki joanne geraldine and szu yu i guess.
and then one day, everything suddenly came apart between jon and i.
kinda expected i guess.
just that i was still trying to adjust to TPJC, so :\
talking to greg and eleanor one day though and then they both confided something to me.
still not revealing what it is though.
hey i'm a good friend and confidante alright (:
2 weeks later i couldn't take the emotional stress anymore and stayed from school.
3 days later i realise i really missed everyone in school.
couldn't bring myself back to face them though.
regret.
spent my days holed up in my room crying trying to get myself to stand up again.
hard.
darn angry with myself for trusting him too much.
JAE started.
damn tempted to take a year off.
of course nobody allowed me to.
so went to school, damn weary, trying to put on a happy front.
met mau.
orientation was never something i enjoyed, so it was the usual for me.
then i got sorted into class, and i really knew nobody.
jiali was the first to talk to me, and then she pulled me along and cheryl joined the both of us.
along came huiqi into the clique.
started thinking maybe life wasn't too bad afterall.
pushed all unhappiness to one corner of my mind and tried to stay upbeat.
this kinda of facade will never last long i guess, as the stress from lit term paper struck me with a sudden blow in my stomach, and i took it out on cheryl, then totally breaking down in the girls' toilet at the grandstand, breaking down mainly because of what i pushed only to the back of my mind.
and then everything between the 4 of us fell apart too.
sheena came along and tried to tug me out of my emotional state.
forced myself to open up a little, telling myself there's still hope, and talked to hazique, for he appeared to be a close friend of sheena.
3 of us got along fine and 2 months later, we were like a clique already.
the 3rd month cheryl huiqi and i were talking, but not as close as before i guess (?), but one fine day during lunch jiali finally asked me that question, " can we go back to what we were, way back before, and forget everything?"
i smiled and nodded.
inside me i was thinking, what about yifang? she's with them now. what will she think. and i have hazique and sheena now. i can't force them together can i? and things with jiali and the rest always felt like.. something out of my reach. i tried to talk to hazique and sheena + jiali cheryl and huiqi.
i tried to make things work between all of us.
i guess now i see it, i was trying to force the zhiyu i am when im with sheena and hazique together with the zhiyu i am when im with jiali cheryl and huiqi.
absurd.
and then there was yifang.
uncomfy.
things weren't the same, no matter how much all of us tried to make it the same.
and then gradually i shifted towards sheena and hazique.
i didn't want anymore changes, and i didn't want to spoil things between them and yifang.
sheena and hazique are damn good friends to be with.
just like jiali cheryl and huiqi are.
it was tough i'll admit.
but whenever i think of yifang with them, i ask myself, will i ever fit in again?
i realise, no, not really.
it's hard.
not because of cheryl and huiqi, but because somehow, during that little break jiali and i had between us, everything just drifted apart, we barely saw eye to eye anymore, there were more.. i don't know.
it was harder not to argue than before.
i don't know why.
it upsets me.
drifted back to sheena and hazique.
remained friends with cheryl and huiqi, drifting from jiali.
and then meanwhile, after that breakdown in the washroom, i met edmund, on viwawa (ya wtf i know). he knew who jon was, i found myself able to spill everything to him, he was able to offer comforting words, so i remained in contact with him, giving each other advice (fine mostly him giving me advice, can? tsk.) and bla.
i thought i walked out of things between jon and i.
penang trip came jinxian.
fooled me like i was an idiot.
actually, i AM an idiot.
i was a big fool that time when he met me.
i won't deny, penang was an excuse for me to run away from things in SG for a while, so i could take a breather.
i added everyone i knew from penang trip when i got home, and then he came and fooled me like i was nothing.
yup, i WAS nothing.
nice lesson learnt anyway.
gave friends around me a headache sinking into that stupid emotional state again.
promos died, all thanks to one person, he knows who he is.
drifted back to that.. history.. from p6 again.
and came out of it.
a call from someone did the job, you know who you are, thank you (:
attended CABIN camp and then tinklefriend camp, both as camp facilitators.
met mingyao, albin, guanning.
all of who became good friends.
learnt to open up to others, learnt to lead a group in camp, learnt to handle different situations, more confident in quite a few things now, thanks to hazique for organising CABIN CIP for us. helped me a lot (:
suddenly became emo over jon again, no idea why.
just at that very moment chubby (the hamster that just died) fell really sick.
hurt me, was unfair to me..
chubby fell more ill..
and then died that one fateful day.
and then i suddenly remembered my promise to myself, that i'll really wipe jon from my memory, remove him from everywhere, every area of my life.
had no courage to do it.
couldn't bear to.
hazique said i should.
talked sense into me.
and then edmund too said people like him don't deserve the niceness we treat them with.
both of them said i'll not regret extricating him form my life.
both said i'll feel better.
and so i did it.
all that's left now are physical gifts from him.
soft toys etc.
but i already feel much better.
i feel.. free.
sure, i slackened in school work because of that emotional stress i've been under, i've been retained, i think i should give myself another chance.
but i really don't regret not giving into that temptation of staying home from school the entire year.
if i did, who knows if i'd be free now.
if i did, i wouldn't have gained all these new friends.
if i did, there'd be things i wouldn't have learnt.
i'd still be that useless weakling.
and i wouldn't know to treasure something, i wouldn't know not to force things and push them further when i'm not sure of anything..
i changed from the initial INFP that i was, to INFJ, felt damn weird and hence tried to understand myself further, the current me, got used to it, and then became an ISFJ, which i then tried again to get used to. and then i became the INFP i once was, again, right after i removed him from my life.
one big round.
and i remembered, my S N P and J have always been mixed up.
cuz they're all 50:50 parts of me.
and anyway they're all just a general gauge of my personality, nothing too customised or to be trusted in 101%.
oh okay only i know what i'm talking about.
-.-
現在的距離..
..是完美的比例.
(:
..是完美的比例.
(:
12:23 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
歌名：太烦恼 歌手：杨丞琳 所属专辑：半熟宣言
一样的化妆 一样的头发
大家通通太像 多无聊啊
剪杂志不如自己想 学谁不如自己闯
每个人总会有 一件事 要比别人强
没有那麼漂亮就更用心化妆
当身材没有办法想 努力微笑放光芒
我烦恼 太被动并不好
烦恼 太冲动也不好
烦恼 自信在动摇
烦恼烦恼 钻进了牛角
我烦恼 太聪明并不好
烦恼 太愚蠢更不好
烦恼 谁都不明了
烦恼烦恼 太烦恼的苦恼
别让昨天变围墙 要拿今天当翅膀
可以失恋不能失去了 对幸福的渴望
暗恋最好撑把伞 小雨大雪都会下
爱就像高跟鞋 越美的越容易拐一下
难免受伤重要的是不要留下疤
没有阴影才不害怕
为了梦想 痛著成长
我烦恼 太被动并不好
烦恼 太冲动也不好
烦恼 自信在动摇
烦恼烦恼 钻进了牛角
我烦恼 太聪明并不好
烦恼 太愚蠢更不好
烦恼 谁都不明了
烦恼烦恼 太烦恼的苦恼
我烦恼 太被动并不好
烦恼 太冲动也不好
烦恼 自信在动摇
烦恼烦恼 钻进了牛角
我烦恼 太聪明并不好
烦恼 太愚蠢更不好
烦恼 谁都不明了
烦恼烦恼 太烦恼的苦恼
一样的化妆 一样的头发
大家通通太像 多无聊啊
剪杂志不如自己想 学谁不如自己闯
每个人总会有 一件事 要比别人强
没有那麼漂亮就更用心化妆
当身材没有办法想 努力微笑放光芒
我烦恼 太被动并不好
烦恼 太冲动也不好
烦恼 自信在动摇
烦恼烦恼 钻进了牛角
我烦恼 太聪明并不好
烦恼 太愚蠢更不好
烦恼 谁都不明了
烦恼烦恼 太烦恼的苦恼
别让昨天变围墙 要拿今天当翅膀
可以失恋不能失去了 对幸福的渴望
暗恋最好撑把伞 小雨大雪都会下
爱就像高跟鞋 越美的越容易拐一下
难免受伤重要的是不要留下疤
没有阴影才不害怕
为了梦想 痛著成长
我烦恼 太被动并不好
烦恼 太冲动也不好
烦恼 自信在动摇
烦恼烦恼 钻进了牛角
我烦恼 太聪明并不好
烦恼 太愚蠢更不好
烦恼 谁都不明了
烦恼烦恼 太烦恼的苦恼
我烦恼 太被动并不好
烦恼 太冲动也不好
烦恼 自信在动摇
烦恼烦恼 钻进了牛角
我烦恼 太聪明并不好
烦恼 太愚蠢更不好
烦恼 谁都不明了
烦恼烦恼 太烦恼的苦恼
courtesy of:
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/288644ht.htm
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/288644ht.htm
1:48 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Friday, December 12, 2008
i finally did it.
:D
thanks hazique!
:D:D
eh wait.
where do i sell new soft toys?
or give them away.
anything.
tellmetellmeTELLME!
(x
:D
thanks hazique!
:D:D
eh wait.
where do i sell new soft toys?
or give them away.
anything.
tellmetellmeTELLME!
(x
9:36 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
rest in peace alright?
sorry i didn't carry out the promise i made before you died.
sorry i didn't carry out the promise i made before you died.
since she was the start of everything you and i were,
then with her death comes the end of everything between you and me.
this time i'll really put an end to everything
no matter how much i can't bear to
i will.
(:
guess i should have noticed the significance of everything :\
then with her death comes the end of everything between you and me.
this time i'll really put an end to everything
no matter how much i can't bear to
i will.
(:
guess i should have noticed the significance of everything :\
8:48 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
is it so hard wanting to be happy.?
just when i thought i found a good way to allow myself to really cry properly, to be able to cry, that method suddenly became useless.
not because i got my happiness
but because that method just didn't work anymore.
damn.
now what do i do.
i can't let everything out, so squeeze everything to that one little corner and try my best not to think about it?
fat chance.
as if that method will work long term,
pjco is really really tiring me out..
no wait.
it's ahtan who's really tiring me out.
sure he doesn't understand.
but he can at least tell i'm already trying my best, right?
i'm exhausted.
i'm really really trying my best.
why can't he just see it?
it's a freaking spoilt reed.
it gave me 2 freaking ulcers.
it gave me a migraine.
can you see i'm really trying now?
jonathanhochinkiat.
i really don't wanna know this person.
can i pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease just take him as a random stranger on the street?
the random stranger someone else knows. who added me for fun?
the way his friend did me?
the way he did my friends?
he's not the only one who matters you know.
1:13 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
OMG I GAINED 2KG!!
T.T
okay i'm really really going to swim and lose 5kg nownowNOW.
T.T
how much did i gain this year?
8kg!!
omg!!
dang.
T.T
T.T
okay i'm really really going to swim and lose 5kg nownowNOW.
T.T
how much did i gain this year?
8kg!!
omg!!
dang.
T.T
9:49 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Meteor
Dreams of meteors symbolize strong desires, and often mean that the dreamer is involved in "wishful thinking" in some aspect of her real life.
Wish
Dreams where you wish for something, represent your real hopes and dreams. Think of the wish you made and how it relates to what you want for your life.
12:12 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
i don't want anything.
i just want to be the happy person i was all the way back in p6.
or sec1.
whenever i was happier.
or at least.. let me be the more cheerful self i've been just that few days back since this year.
since sec4.
since sec3.
no wait.
sec2 actually.
i just want to be the happy person i was all the way back in p6.
or sec1.
whenever i was happier.
or at least.. let me be the more cheerful self i've been just that few days back since this year.
since sec4.
since sec3.
no wait.
sec2 actually.
back before he dragged me through this bullshit.
2:02 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
bla.
okay obviously this post is mainly targetted at hazique and albin.
hey guys sorry about just now luh. you know i was in a super rotten mood so :\ i wasn't really in the mood to listen to lectures. i won't say i didn't wanna talk, i felt more like listening, but not to lectures luh. i mean, i was trying desperately to cheer up and then :\ hazique, whatever it was you were trying to say back there, you knew it wouldn't have registered in my head so quickly it was just pushing me nearer over the edge so i really had to get away. sorry. didn't mean to ignore both you and albin. i appreciate your kind intentions, and you know it. nope i won't let our relationship sour just cuz of my rotten mood don't worry lol.
and then next, besides having to thank hazique and albin for trying to talk sense into me apart from trying to cheer me up (i know hazique was pretty emo too sorry T.T), there's edmund and derek.. ohoh and sheena for coming online. that cheered me up a little. instantly lol. and kmy hoshiun tuanqi and wilson for trying. so thank you people (: guess i do feel a little better already. cried a little, but at least i felt better i guess. and by saying cried a little i really meant a little. little little. so phew. nearly lost it today. :\ sucks. maybe i won't go back to rv tomorrow afterall. stay at home at sulk. lol. tuesday.. then wednesday.. gah pjco. man. T.T
i guess.. if it's better, i'll just stick to pushing everything to on corner of my mind, letting everything out every once a while. better than emoing now and not know when i'll stop emoing, trying in vain to find out how i can remove that unhappiness within me huh.
goodness why do i suddenly miss my seniors my juniors and some rvco members so much. siaoness. i miss mzp i miss siying i miss fu en i miss yuge i miss mel wong i miss mel teo i miss silin i miss melvin davy (ya the guy we all had doubts about once upon a time cuz i forgot why who i later found out after knowing him longer and better was just another nice guy who likes having fun with the rest of us [:) i miss masu i miss bena i miss xiwen lichen weiling shaoying clare tianhe jolene stephanie yushan congyu dingrong i miss cassandra i miss amy i miss cherie (and i forgot how to spell her name -.-) i miss caifang i miss jade i miss yichiew i miss agnes ivan shengzhong jingxin eugene [haiya all my seniors basically]........ did i miss out anyone i miss? i don't know leh. goodness the list just goes on and on doesn't it. dang.
okay obviously this post is mainly targetted at hazique and albin.
hey guys sorry about just now luh. you know i was in a super rotten mood so :\ i wasn't really in the mood to listen to lectures. i won't say i didn't wanna talk, i felt more like listening, but not to lectures luh. i mean, i was trying desperately to cheer up and then :\ hazique, whatever it was you were trying to say back there, you knew it wouldn't have registered in my head so quickly it was just pushing me nearer over the edge so i really had to get away. sorry. didn't mean to ignore both you and albin. i appreciate your kind intentions, and you know it. nope i won't let our relationship sour just cuz of my rotten mood don't worry lol.
and then next, besides having to thank hazique and albin for trying to talk sense into me apart from trying to cheer me up (i know hazique was pretty emo too sorry T.T), there's edmund and derek.. ohoh and sheena for coming online. that cheered me up a little. instantly lol. and kmy hoshiun tuanqi and wilson for trying. so thank you people (: guess i do feel a little better already. cried a little, but at least i felt better i guess. and by saying cried a little i really meant a little. little little. so phew. nearly lost it today. :\ sucks. maybe i won't go back to rv tomorrow afterall. stay at home at sulk. lol. tuesday.. then wednesday.. gah pjco. man. T.T
i guess.. if it's better, i'll just stick to pushing everything to on corner of my mind, letting everything out every once a while. better than emoing now and not know when i'll stop emoing, trying in vain to find out how i can remove that unhappiness within me huh.
goodness why do i suddenly miss my seniors my juniors and some rvco members so much. siaoness. i miss mzp i miss siying i miss fu en i miss yuge i miss mel wong i miss mel teo i miss silin i miss melvin davy (ya the guy we all had doubts about once upon a time cuz i forgot why who i later found out after knowing him longer and better was just another nice guy who likes having fun with the rest of us [:) i miss masu i miss bena i miss xiwen lichen weiling shaoying clare tianhe jolene stephanie yushan congyu dingrong i miss cassandra i miss amy i miss cherie (and i forgot how to spell her name -.-) i miss caifang i miss jade i miss yichiew i miss agnes ivan shengzhong jingxin eugene [haiya all my seniors basically]........ did i miss out anyone i miss? i don't know leh. goodness the list just goes on and on doesn't it. dang.
((:
edmund is a dinosaur from our imagination.
wahaha!~
XDD
edmund is a dinosaur from our imagination.
wahaha!~
XDD
1:20 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Monday, December 8, 2008
zhiyu` says (10:06 PM):
i insist this stupid place they think is my home is NOT my home
i insist this stupid place they think is my home is NOT my home
i'm not as strong as all of you think i am.
10:16 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
me?
i'm losing faith.
i'm losing faith.
佛祖
您相信我
我并没在怨您
我不曾怨过您
也不曾怨过自己这条狗命
我只是不喜欢，更不明白人为何会这样
您相信我
我并没在怨您
我不曾怨过您
也不曾怨过自己这条狗命
我只是不喜欢，更不明白人为何会这样
10:09 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Monday, Dec 8th, 2008 -- You could have amazing experiences within the confines of your own mind today, for your fantasies are being activated by strong feelings. But your life could be even more fantastic now if you go out of your way and share your hidden thoughts with someone you trust. Simply getting them out into the open is sufficient to shift the dynamics and improve your day.
oh yeah? right. ch.
{EDIT\}
It feels a bit stressful today, thanks to the energy of the world grating against you somewhat. You may need to deal with people who expect too much from you, but you turn the tables soon.
this one is so much more accurate.
oh yeah? right. ch.
{EDIT\}
It feels a bit stressful today, thanks to the energy of the world grating against you somewhat. You may need to deal with people who expect too much from you, but you turn the tables soon.
this one is so much more accurate.
9:45 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
do not judge people from the organisation that they belong to, by their covers, WHATEVER.
all i can say is, if you insist on judging people either only by the first impression you get of them or by whatever rubbish you heard about whatever organisation that they belong to, then maybe the one with a problem really is you and not them.
and all i can say is, I'M ASHAMED TO EVEN BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU.
all i can say is, if you insist on judging people either only by the first impression you get of them or by whatever rubbish you heard about whatever organisation that they belong to, then maybe the one with a problem really is you and not them.
and all i can say is, I'M ASHAMED TO EVEN BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU.
dammit you call yourselves my parents?
well i'm beginning to wonder why i have such people like you as my parents.
你可以继续戴着你的有色眼镜去看待别人
那不是我的问题
可是我不准你因为你自己根本还没和人家好好沟通之前从外界得来的无聊印象影响我或我要做的事情
我不准你因为你那不公平的印象阻止我所要做的东西
阻止我做能够带给他人快乐的事情
因为我不是你
我也不像你
我愿意给予他人机会
你不肯，那是你的事
don't come forcing yourself upon me.
dammit.
and if you think we should get something for everything that we do
that's your own freaking problem.
that satisfaction is enough for me.
if it's nothing to you, TOO BAD.
you aren't the one doing all these anyway.
well i'm beginning to wonder why i have such people like you as my parents.
你可以继续戴着你的有色眼镜去看待别人
那不是我的问题
可是我不准你因为你自己根本还没和人家好好沟通之前从外界得来的无聊印象影响我或我要做的事情
我不准你因为你那不公平的印象阻止我所要做的东西
阻止我做能够带给他人快乐的事情
因为我不是你
我也不像你
我愿意给予他人机会
你不肯，那是你的事
don't come forcing yourself upon me.
dammit.
and if you think we should get something for everything that we do
that's your own freaking problem.
that satisfaction is enough for me.
if it's nothing to you, TOO BAD.
you aren't the one doing all these anyway.
8:02 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
do you really think you were ever fair to any of us?
you never were.
{EDIT\}
you always say the same thing don't you.
you always think you know all of us damn well.
well here's news: you never really knew me. so stop pretending you do just because we were once together.
and if you've yet to notice, the sentence "this is the first time i'm with somebody i really like i love xxx (fill in name of any gfs he ever had) for who she is i've never wanted her to change" (aiya the main gist is there) has been repeated by you COUNTLESS TIMES. how do you expect any of us to believe you anymore.
seriously, the way you do your best to deceive yourself, to deceive me and expect me to just believe you, is darn ridiculous.
oh well, up to you to do whatever you want i guess.
you always say the same thing don't you.
you always think you know all of us damn well.
well here's news: you never really knew me. so stop pretending you do just because we were once together.
and if you've yet to notice, the sentence "this is the first time i'm with somebody i really like i love xxx (fill in name of any gfs he ever had) for who she is i've never wanted her to change" (aiya the main gist is there) has been repeated by you COUNTLESS TIMES. how do you expect any of us to believe you anymore.
seriously, the way you do your best to deceive yourself, to deceive me and expect me to just believe you, is darn ridiculous.
oh well, up to you to do whatever you want i guess.
you're nothing but a joke.
5:12 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
whatever luh im fking tired.
you know i don't use that word loosely anymore it mostly comes only when i feel that extreme nowadays.
and you knew i was never like that till you came into my life.
but well.
i'm not the girl you once changed me into anymore.
i'm free from your past influence.
already.
damn you.
but why do i hurt..
..when i never loved him.?
o.0
and you knew i was never like that till you came into my life.
but well.
i'm not the girl you once changed me into anymore.
i'm free from your past influence.
already.
damn you.
but why do i hurt..
..when i never loved him.?
o.0
3:28 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
went sot with mau.
i was trying to cheer up and stop emoing let me vent it out luh bla.
2:37 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
bah went looking at random people's photos on fb today.
somehow ended up at somebody's profile page.
so went to look at that somebody's photos.
and dammit, i can tell you, that old wound's hurting again.
just when hazique sheena albin edmund went off i had to end up at that somebody's profile look at that sombody's pictures and bloody hell start hurting again.
fk.
not fun i'm telling you.
i'm trying not to let that hurt pull me back under but..
it's coming back strong i don't know why.
P-A-I-N.
PAIN.
damn you uncle you never went through it you'll never understand.
and if i start crying over you again, i'll..
i'll..
i don't know what i'll do.
i'm sure yuge will kill me anyway.
still.
bah.
i realise i can't go without company.
cuz that's what's keeping me a happy person.. on the surface?
inside me?
i don't know if i've been really happy.
okay to be fair i KNOW i've been happy during camps, with hazique kmy sheena albin blablabla..
but how long can that last.
they can't possibly accompany 24/7 i HAVE to learn to stand on MY OWN two feet.
right?
i don't know if i really got over it.
or if i merely pushed everything into one dark corner of my mind, and then doing things, making myself busy hoping to distract myself..
i really really thought i was way past all that bullshit.
have i ever forgotten everything?
have i ever really forgotten everything?
i don't know the answer to that frankly.
i don't know what exactly's going on within me.
it's bloody irritating!
i'm irritated with myself.
for being unable to just forget everything easily.
i even remember things back from nursery dammit.
pretty vividly.
how do you expect me to forget that piece of bullshit memory from my mind so easily?
i'm not like you bloody hell I'M NOT LIKE YOU.
i'm not the casanova who comes and goes as i please, hurting everyone else, forgetting everything quickly, getting a new partner in a matter of milliseconds.
it's freaking unfair how you have life so darnDARN easy while i'm being left behind to clear up the mess you created.
it's not that i chose to stay and clean up.
it's that i can't force myself to leave.
it's because unlike you there's something about me.
and that thing, is called a heart.
i'm not freaking heartless.
don't even tell me i can choose this i can choose that.
let me just repeat it - I'M NOT LIKE YOU.
i'm much more responsible than you are.
okay ya dammit what's the use of whining now right.
right shit now i need someone for me to emo to.
it's getting damn hard to hold the stupid tears back.
yes i know it's a waste letting tears fall over a bastard.
but telling myself he's an asshole i deserve much better doesn't help things.
it doesn't make things worse but it doesn't help things.
true, i have quite a lot of things already, but he still has most of the things i want in life, without having to work for them either.
and like wtf, he comes and goes as he pleases, like a hurricane, blowing past leaving a mess behind, hurting people, not treasuring things he has..
can someone enlighten me, why does he have things so freaking easy?
somehow ended up at somebody's profile page.
so went to look at that somebody's photos.
and dammit, i can tell you, that old wound's hurting again.
just when hazique sheena albin edmund went off i had to end up at that somebody's profile look at that sombody's pictures and bloody hell start hurting again.
fk.
not fun i'm telling you.
i'm trying not to let that hurt pull me back under but..
it's coming back strong i don't know why.
P-A-I-N.
PAIN.
damn you uncle you never went through it you'll never understand.
and if i start crying over you again, i'll..
i'll..
i don't know what i'll do.
i'm sure yuge will kill me anyway.
still.
bah.
i realise i can't go without company.
cuz that's what's keeping me a happy person.. on the surface?
inside me?
i don't know if i've been really happy.
okay to be fair i KNOW i've been happy during camps, with hazique kmy sheena albin blablabla..
but how long can that last.
they can't possibly accompany 24/7 i HAVE to learn to stand on MY OWN two feet.
right?
i don't know if i really got over it.
or if i merely pushed everything into one dark corner of my mind, and then doing things, making myself busy hoping to distract myself..
i really really thought i was way past all that bullshit.
have i ever forgotten everything?
have i ever really forgotten everything?
i don't know the answer to that frankly.
i don't know what exactly's going on within me.
it's bloody irritating!
i'm irritated with myself.
for being unable to just forget everything easily.
i even remember things back from nursery dammit.
pretty vividly.
how do you expect me to forget that piece of bullshit memory from my mind so easily?
i'm not like you bloody hell I'M NOT LIKE YOU.
i'm not the casanova who comes and goes as i please, hurting everyone else, forgetting everything quickly, getting a new partner in a matter of milliseconds.
it's freaking unfair how you have life so darnDARN easy while i'm being left behind to clear up the mess you created.
it's not that i chose to stay and clean up.
it's that i can't force myself to leave.
it's because unlike you there's something about me.
and that thing, is called a heart.
i'm not freaking heartless.
don't even tell me i can choose this i can choose that.
let me just repeat it - I'M NOT LIKE YOU.
i'm much more responsible than you are.
okay ya dammit what's the use of whining now right.
right shit now i need someone for me to emo to.
it's getting damn hard to hold the stupid tears back.
yes i know it's a waste letting tears fall over a bastard.
but telling myself he's an asshole i deserve much better doesn't help things.
it doesn't make things worse but it doesn't help things.
true, i have quite a lot of things already, but he still has most of the things i want in life, without having to work for them either.
and like wtf, he comes and goes as he pleases, like a hurricane, blowing past leaving a mess behind, hurting people, not treasuring things he has..
can someone enlighten me, why does he have things so freaking easy?
maybe i'm not okay at all..
1:58 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
单单看到你的名字就能让我心里浮现千万种不同的感觉
我刚从以前的悲痛走出来
刚把类似的东西统统抛到一边去
刚很坚决地不想再去碰，去靠近它
怎么..
唉..
算了..
我刚从以前的悲痛走出来
刚把类似的东西统统抛到一边去
刚很坚决地不想再去碰，去靠近它
怎么..
唉..
算了..
11:46 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
hello.
black&yellow.
lol aloysius and his hello, black&yellow stuck in my head.
bplurr.
black&yellow.
lol aloysius and his hello, black&yellow stuck in my head.
bplurr.
7:55 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Friday, December 5, 2008
it's not that i understand none of the things you were trying to tell me. i learnt the same thing in religious studies.
but the thing is, you don't exactly have any idea as to what is going on so..
i'd advise you not to poke your nose into this.
you know i respect you, but some things..
if you don't understand, i hope you won't judge me and force your ideas upon me, alright?
i'm as old as you are, i do know what to do.
i have my limits.
i have a limit to my tolerance too.
if someone does something that i don't approve of repeatedly, i really see no point in giving them more chances.
because to me i gave them more than enough,
it's been more than 10 years.
how long more do you think i can withstand it?
but the thing is, you don't exactly have any idea as to what is going on so..
i'd advise you not to poke your nose into this.
you know i respect you, but some things..
if you don't understand, i hope you won't judge me and force your ideas upon me, alright?
i'm as old as you are, i do know what to do.
i have my limits.
i have a limit to my tolerance too.
if someone does something that i don't approve of repeatedly, i really see no point in giving them more chances.
because to me i gave them more than enough,
it's been more than 10 years.
how long more do you think i can withstand it?
抱歉。
我已经很累了..
我已经很累了..
11:35 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
you.
i. don't. care.
i. don't. care.
8:06 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
let me just say..
dammit i hate my family.
sometimes i really wonder if i'm really their daughter.
their sister.
bla.
fk.
forget it i don't feel like elaborating anymore.
dammit i hate my family.
sometimes i really wonder if i'm really their daughter.
their sister.
bla.
fk.
forget it i don't feel like elaborating anymore.
8:37 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
hai.
who cries in their sleep man seriously.
gah.
who cries in their sleep man seriously.
gah.
and you said to ignore it cuz it's just a dream.
right.
right.
12:17 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
Monday, December 1, 2008
..
9:11 PM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
patience?
yours can't be better than mine.
yours can't be better than mine.
12:41 AM.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
zhiyu;
the notCool, notCalm, notCollected.
